A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,The thing is I'm getting mixed signals from a female coworker. She said once that she doesn't like quiet guys (like me), or fat guys (also like me), but recently she seems much more eager to talk to me about random stuff (but she does spend a lot of time talking to a hot guy at the office(that guy is married and the boss warned her that is spending too much time talking with him and not working)). Also she complemented me a couple of times. My buddies say she's clearly into me but I'm not so sure. She also made a comment once that the most important thing in a man is money, and I'm one of the top earners at the company, so my gold-digger red flag is way up.So what do you think? Should I ask her out? Am I over thinking and actually her signals are not intended for me? Gold digger alert?
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (4 January 2018):
 How you still want to ask her out despite all this is beyond me. If someone has been pulled up by the boss for flirting relentlessly with a "hot guy" then it just shows the level of professionalism or the lack of it.
I think your buddies are having a laugh behind your back and egging you on to ask her out just to see some fun. Be careful.
As for the girl, don't be silly and throw away all the good work that you've put into the office. You're a top earner for a reason. Exactly how do you think you're going to look when the boss hears that you're wasting your time indulging in romantic relationships at work? That's one of the biggest no-no's and your so called buddies would be the first ones to sneak.
Be smart about things and stop being so desperate. You can do better
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 January 2018):
 I'd ignore her little "hints".
Don't date coworkers. Single or not, find a woman to date that you don't also work with.
Also, she doesn't seem like a "Keeper". Someone who has to be chastised by her Boss for flirting and chatting up a handsome married guy is not a quality woman.
She has already told you she doesn't like guys like you. Doesn't mean she doesn't like your earning potential and would want to exploit it... Again, not a "Keeper".
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (4 January 2018):
This woman is throwing all sorts of contradictions at you. I would avoid going out with her but purely because the two of you work together and you hardly seem compatible, which can make things very uncomfortable.
Without the work connection, I would say go out with her. It doesn't sound like this is going to go to a relationship level but you can't expect that from every date. It's good to experience different people before you settle down with one. She doesn't sound really interested in you but your buddies are much closer to the situation than those of us on DQ. So maybe she is into you. In any case, repeat reading my first paragraph and avoid this woman, at least while you share the same workplace.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 January 2018):
 You shouldn't ask her out because you don't like her that much. You are quiet and she's too talkative for her own good. Your personalities would clash even if she's not a gold digger. Sounds like the only reason you want to ask her out is because she seems into you; she must be beautiful; you may be insecure about dating prospects. Did she say she doesn't like quiet guys and fat guys directly to you? Even so that's too hurtful and in your face. I don't get how you still want to ask her out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2018): I believe you answered your own question when you wrote "She also made a comment once that the most important thing in a man is money." If I were you, I would tried very carefully with this woman.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2018): Do not date her. She wants your money. Now if you want to hook up with her casually then do so but do not date her. You will regret it.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 January 2018):
She probably likes you as a person, and is attracted to your money.
The fact that she doesn't like overweight quiet guys means you should probably just keep it friendly unless you feel comfortable with the informal prostitution that is a sugar daddy gold digger relationship.
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