A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has gone on vacation to see his family,When he is at home with me he neglects me and is all day on Skype to his family particularly mother. And I'm not exaggerating. Mother comes first for everything.But he does not like me to see my friends or family.Now I resent him and his family very bad.While he is away he was expecting me to stay on the Skype nearly 24 hours day particularly at night time so he can see what I am doing and he will also expect me to talk with his family members and I don't want to at all., and he knows this. They are a dysfunctional family in my eyes and I don't want any involvement. Whatsoever.So while he was travelling abroad I have turned my phone off and not spoken with him. That was 3 days ago.If all he can do is ignore me when he speaks to them all the time and now he has gone to stay with them why does he decide not to ignore me. Makes me feel very angry.What do others think about this situation please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2016): I think this is a cultural thing. You don't say where is your husband from. In some cultures family specially mother are first than everything even wife and when husband is away he still need to know where/what/who/when is wife... It won't change saddly. They are who they are but those are the things we don't see before get married. Hope you can have a talk with him when comes home.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 April 2016):
 You both need to talk about this when he comes back from visiting his family. Maybe he is missing his family a lot and this is why he feels the need to talk to them daily, surely he can't spend 24 hours a day talking to them? Roughly how long a day does he talk to his mother? You both need to sit down and discuss this and tell him how it makes you feel, and allow him to tell you how he feels.
If he does not like you to socialize with your friends and family then again I would need to find out why, just because you are married does not make you his property. You should be able to visit whoever you like, it sounds like you both have huge trust issues, are you happy in this marriage? Do you want to be with this man? What was it that made you marry him? These are things you need to ask.
You don't seem to like his family which is okay you don't have to, but it appears you don't make an effort at all which makes me think there is more to this post than meets the eye.
It could be that now he is away he is missing you so he wants to talk to you, maybe he finds it easier to talk to people over webcam, you need to ask him these questions and get your marriage sorted if you want a happy future.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (17 April 2016):
 Have you posted this question before? There was a similar one recently in which I asked if his family lived overseas which was why he needed to talk to them so much.
The trouble is that this is turning into a tit for tat situation, and neither of you is addressing the real problem.
It is going to take the two of you to sit down for a summit conference in which you put forward your demands.
You need to talk about what is fair, and what is reasonable. You as his wife have expectations, and you need them to be met. He wants to talk to his family. Well how much is reasonable?
It may be that he should just move back with them if he is unhappy in his current life. I mean, why are you married if not to spend time with each other?
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