A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been really close with this girl, i met her about 5 months ago now. Since we met i've always had that sort of feeling for her and i think she had it for me too. About a month ago i couldn't stand it any longer so i sent her an email telling her how i felt cos i dont think i was brave enough to say it face to face. She told me that she didn't know i felt that way and so i thought i should try to move on... Then about 2 weeks ago she wrote me a letter saying that she'd been really stupid and that she wanted to be in a relationship and that she had feelings for me. So i considered asking her out cos we both felt the same way. I spoke to her friends about things with us last week, we get on really well but then they must have said something because she started to act asif she didn't like me at all. So last night we spoke about things face to face and she said that she felt on and off all the time and that she didn't want to get into a relationship with me if she didn't know how she felt properly because she was scared that it'd just fail. I wanted to tell her face to face that we haven't tried to be in a relationship so how could she know, but i couldn't say it :/ So i texted her it so that nobody around us would know much about it all. Does this mean that there's no chance and that things are essentially over with us? because she's said she doesnt know how she feels and so doesn't want to try incase it fails and we don't even have our friendships :/ i cant feel like it is because only 2 weeks ago she said she had feelings for me :/ is there no chance and should i just move on or should i follow this girl that i've fallen in love with? and how would i if that's the case?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Markingbad +, writes (26 October 2009):
 What do you think will piss you off the most. Me. Or seeing a string of girls you fancy going out with other blokes.
Its your call. Makes no odds to me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlook mate i just dont apprecaiate that you're taking the piss when i'm just trying to ask for help... why would you do that to a guy that's got problems with stuff like this? it's just that i'm not here to have the piss taken out of me, i'm here for help, and you have helped but you've just been cruel for no reason too, i don't see why you felt you needed to do that :/
If you dont wanna help and if you wanna piss people off then go somewhere else to do it because it's just inappropriate to act like this here to people asking for help
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A
male
reader, Markingbad +, writes (25 October 2009):
Oh lord..I'm being dissed by 17 yr old boy. My life is over. I will never hold my head up high again. Lol.
I'm not you momma ok. And if i was being being a twat i would make you cry. If this is hissing fit is how you allways act when you dont heare what you want to heare i was dead right when i said she deserved better. I may be an agony aunt by default heare but i'm not heare to give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside.
My first response was the only good answer. What did you want me to do. Ask her for you ? If you gave me her number i would try and steal her for myself.
Now go sit in the norty corner and figure out how to get a date without asking.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou know wat mate, you've said something worth saying there, but you're a major twat.
the only reason i've posted this is cos i'm lookin for help from people, so if you're gonna take the piss out of people that are this desperate and such an easy target then you should be ashamed, nobody's ever going to see this really, like 5 people that you'll never meet...
thanks, i'll consider asking her on a date, but u really are a heartless arsehole
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A
male
reader, Markingbad +, writes (25 October 2009):
You could ask for a date. But you are afraid of that so..Have you tried voodoo ?
Or you could fake a heart attack near her. When she visits you in hospital dont run away. She must like you. Phone her friends and ask them. No ..that wont work.
Umm. I got it.
On your way home pick up a jizz mag. Paint your fingernails red on your left hand. Pretend its her hand. Theres your first girlfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionorait cheers, i'll think again about the letter
wat do you reckon i should do cos i think i've fallen in love with her so i just can't see myself moving on without doing something or trying things with her?
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A
male
reader, Markingbad +, writes (25 October 2009):
What exactly do you mean by "keep" trying ?
You should start trying.
I wouldnt send her no letter. She will get over you.
Trust me. You could scare her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much, it's really helpful hearing what you all think.I know a few of you may disagree but I think i'm gonna write her a letter saying everything, like what i wrote here, starting from the start and working my way forwards to what things are like now.Last night i was in a party and at about 11 o clock she turned up with her mate, she realised that i found it pretty hard staying around and i left after saying hi to her.Is there really any hope? cos she's told me that she doesn't wanna try cos she think it'll fail because other realtionships she's been in where she feels like this have failed...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 October 2009):
Seems like she's playing with you a bit actually. There's only one way to solve this, and that's to ask her face to face whether she's interested in going out with you or not. If she says anything but yes, then she's not worth the time and you'll need to move on.
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A
male
reader, Markingbad +, writes (24 October 2009):
You said..Then about 2 weeks ago she wrote me a letter saying that she'd been really stupid and that she wanted to be in a relationship and that she had feelings for me. So i considered asking her out cos we both felt the same way.Look again at..that she wanted to be in a relationship and that she had feelings for me.One more time now ok..She said.she wanted to be in a relationship.Your response was..So i considered asking her out cos we both felt the same way. I spoke to her friends about thingsI think if this girl kidnaped and had crazy sex with you you would still be wondering if she would agree to be your girlfriend. She asked you out once. I hope she moves on as i think she deserves better.
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A
female
reader, lola29  +, writes (24 October 2009):
well this is confusing, Are you sure she was sincere in saying she did like you after all, i had a friend who kinda went the same way as you, and told this girl he really liked her, she was on and off just like your girl here.
shes probably scared to ruin the current relationship you guys have, which is being friends. Are you also sure, theres no one else she likes. maybe theres a reason to the hesitation.
and listen, if you really want this to work, you have to say what you need to say infront of her, alone. but i'd advise you to be ready incase she rejects you. Is this her first relationship or has she gone through a some bad breakups. sometimes these problems tend to hang around and friends influence you too. she shouldnt care what other people think, i dont think you should move on just yet, its still early. Hate to drop this bomb on you, but if you really cared for her, you'd wait till she directly tells you, in your face ,that she doesnt want a relationship with you. and that might take a while.
goodluck and if you'd like some more advice, I don't mind.
tc!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): In my opinion it seems shes toying with you. Ask her face to face if she fancies you. Demand an answer. Ask if she thinks its fair you been left in the dark and that its toing with your emotions. Finish it of telling her how you feel, If she does'nt responed the same way then theres your answer. If she says she wants to give it a go then good for you but I've goot a hunch she'll do the same thing. Dont waste anytime. Thats just more time for her to forget about you. Dont be aa sh show her your fighting for her (girls love that!)
Hope this helped :)
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