A
male
age
41-50,
*amsam
writes:i am unmarried and one girl loves me alot. we become friends through a dating site. but the first day i met her i felt very bad due to the reason she is not so good looking. Actually she is a fat girl and that to, too much. As, such i ignored all this and continued my friendship but now this girl want to marry me. As such i am also interested but the problem is that as the days are passing she is gaining more and more fat. She looks like a bull now. Aside this, she is only a graduate and on the other hand i have done higher studies. Now tell me what i should do. Should i marry her? To be very frank, 50% i like her and 50% not. She is also interested in one night sex. so, suggest me should i go for it? Once it comes in my mind, whats the harm, if i go for it. So, please and please suggest me, should i use a Condom and go for it or should close the chapter. Please advice me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): my advice is dont have sex,you mention her size i think this is the 50% you dont like. another thing big woman are just as loving and sexy as any other woman.so step back be friends be honest with what you want.
A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 If you are not attracted to her, then don't force yourself to have sex with her. It would be fair to her.... for you to be honest with her. But do it in a graceful & gentle way. Treat her the way YOU would want someone treat YOU. Will you marry someone that you don't LOVE? Will you sleep with someone who you are not ATTRACTED TO?
Just tell her something like... "REALLY LIKE you, but I am not in love with you. I really would like have an ongoing friendship with you, because you are really a great person. I have a lot of respect for you, and I don't want to hurt you, but I feel that it would be unfair to you, if I were to lead you on in any way... into thinking tht we could be more than friends."
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (8 January 2008):
 Your chapter has been closed in your own mind. You don't even realize it! The shame is that you also don't realize that real beauty comes from deep within. If you don't see the beauty in her you will never be happy and she most certainly will not when she realizes that your feelings are fake.
Let her go and find the happiness she deserves. At least be graceful enough to let her know that you just don't feel quiet the way you should in order to make the relationship work. DON'T let her know what ou really feel is that she is unworthy of you because you think she is like a cow! Good grief man I wonder what you could be thinking.
Hopefully you won't wake up one day and come to find out that you have just lost all of your hair, or your teeth all fall out. Perhaps even that you could gain weight and be thought of as a slob or something worse. Someone should be able to love you as you are. I trust that you both will.
God sees and knows, His watchful eyes are ever focused upon each of you. He can let you see things when you open your hearts. I pray that you see as you said the 50% that you like will far outweigh the 50% that you don't and let her go. Only until you accept others as they are can you truely be blessed to find real love. Love is Blind they say. It means that you overlook alot when you really love someone and you don't criticize them for not being what you think they ought to be.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Judge not lest ye be judged.
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A
male
reader, loverman86  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 if u dont fully like her dont do it, dont be an ass ok
good im glad we understand each other
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (7 January 2008):
 You have got to be the most dispicable man I have ever come across, just because this poor woman does not meet your criteria you cruelly criticise her appearance. She may not have the body of Angelina Jolie, but I bet she has more compassion and and personality in her little finger than you have got in your whole body. Do the decent thing you PATHETIC LITTLE WORM, and do not I repeat do not marry this young lady and leave her to find love from a decent and caring man, not a shallow ill mannered D**k head like you.
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A
female
reader, Crisy +, writes (7 January 2008):
 I dont think you should mary this girl if you arent completely commited and drawn to her. Remember, you cant divorce until 2 years. Just think to yourself, do you really want to be commited to her?? Good Luck.
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