A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well me and my boyfriend have been going out for about a year and a half.its been going really good, but the other day he wanted to talk about the future.he said that he couldnt see 2 people(as in us) who have two totaly different career paths to stay together. ive tried telling him that peopl do it all the time and that we could work it out when it came ime but he still isnt sure. what can i do to convince him to stay with me?..or should i just let him go? please help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (8 January 2008):
I'm also thinking the same that your man has a hidden agenda and is using career path excuse to convince you.There are two options.Either you try to convince him,you never know he may just change his mind and stay,it's worth the risk,that's if you are really in love with him.Never give up the one you love without a fight.Or the harder option is to let him go so he can satisfy his desires and do your best to move on,while deep down your heart hoping he'll come back to you.I really feel for you.My woman had also been making up excuses to leave me but convinced her otherwise and we are still together but if i wanted i would have just walked away.Make a decision and don't look back.
Good luck
Take care
A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (8 January 2008):
 Tell him that you love him very much, You don't want to break up, and that "Carreer Paths" to you is not a big thing. Tell him that you feel that his "Carreer Paths" issue... is just an excuse for him to break up with you... and if he is not happy with you, then he doesn't HAVE to stay with you.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 What are those career paths? I had the same thing with my EX. I've got an office job and she wasn't working at the time but is keen to get into musical theatre (she's talented too).
I thought the fact we were different in that way was a good thing to be honest. However it came up as being a bit of a problem in that I had a stable 9-5 job and earnt a decent salary and she wasn't doing anything.
If you two are in love and together then what difference does it make the careers you chose? Is this something that's going to make of break the relationship? If so, then you're relationship can't be that strong.
I don't know anyone whose Mum and Dad have the same job. Most don't even have similar jobs. None of my friends have the same job as their wives/girlfriends. Isn't that normal?
Okay, if one of you works nights and the other days then it leaves very little time for you two to spend time together and this could/would be an issue for some.
I can see there could be issues with certain jobs/careers... I don't think I could be with a stripper for example but that's me.
At the end of the day it boils down to choice. If you two can't work it out then do you really want to be with a guy who sees differences in career more important than your relationship?
Could there be an issue here as to going to different colleges? This could be a problem. I've seen it a million times where 2 people go to different colleges and both meet loads of new people. Inevitably, more often than not, they split up and both meet someone else at their own college.
I'm NOT saying this is always the case but it is common.
Good luck to you both and hope everything works out for you. Let us know how you get on :)
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (7 January 2008):
My guess is that he's expecting a breakup in the near future. To be honest, it doesn't sound like either of you are engaging in the kind of adjustment, compromise, and accommodation that will be necessary for you to have a lasting marriage.
This is almost the same as the question in the thread "I want to go to school in warmer climes. Will this risk our relationship?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-go-to-school-in-warmer.html . It may help to read the response I gave there.
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A
female
reader, Raining Tears +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Well if he really cares about you he'll stay with you......i mean just because you have to different career paths dont mean nuttin......obviously he has somehting else on his mind.......guys dont usually bring that up unless they usually have something thats really bothering them.
I mean its happened to me allot and what i think you should do is comfort him and if he breaks up with you then just act like everything is fine....it will put him in shock!!! but do you what you think is right!
Sammie3
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