A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this girl for about 4 months now continuously, we are in an odd predicament, by virtue of where we are, and who we work for in the world, we are not allowed to see each other, strictly professional. Well that did not happen, we connected instantly and have been enjoying each other emotionally and physically ever since. To the point that we have confided our love for one another. If we cannot be together we will talk on the phone or chat through the net. I love her very much but have some nagging concerns. She says she loves me but can go a whole day without saying anything to me? A simple text would suffice, she says she will be back online to chat but then signs off without saying a word? If i get angry, she apologizes and things are better till the next time. Which usually only takes about a week. I do not feel she puts enough forward to prove what she says to me, and it's driving me crazy? Am I hanging on too tight? Am i being childish, insecure? I have had a lot of experience with women through the years but have never felt this before, and I'm stumped! I know I can't make her love me but how do I react in a positive way when I feel she is not giving me the courtesy of at least saying goodnight when she knows I am waiting on the other side of that line, but then saying she loves me the next day? This whole thing is driving me nuts, I just want to do the right thing, and win her heart entirely. Pls help!
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 i'd ask her at this point what she wants in life/ in the relationship because you the imbalance of commitment or attention is negatively impacting your perception of the relationship. she'll tell you if she thinks it's going too fast, which it may be, or she'll hopefully get her act together and realize you can't be so minimally attended to. good luck.
A
male
reader, Rey +, writes (5 November 2007):
 I've been there. My current g/f of 9 months has gone 2 days without calling me. Plus she has this ANNOYING habit of hanging up on me. We'll be in the middle of a conversation then *click* she'll just be gone, just like that! It pisses me of soooooo much. She still does it, less often, but she still does it and it drives me insane. Also, she calls me sometimes and we only talk for like 15 seconds to 3 minutes on the phone. (I know cause the cell phone keeps track of the convo time)
This annoys me a little bit too because we used to talk for hours about nothing and now we only talk sparingly. It's frustrating. the best thing you can do is communicate how you feel and that you. Ask her to have more appreciation for your feelings, but not in a demanding way. Let her know you care about her a lot and want her to be more considerate.
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 You cannot make somebody love you. You are in a funny predicament. You love her - she says she loves you, but you are not sure, because she doesn't call or text often enough to your liking?
You need to sit her down, and explain to her exactly how you feel, and how it makes you feel when she does what she does.
4 months is not a long time (long enough) but not long at all. Maybe her evasive techniques are a way of her telling you that she needs some space. It is understandable if she gets busy, but not having the courtesy of saying goodnight at least is inconsiderate. Maybe pipe down on the chat's during the day, and ask her to at least speak to you at night. Tell her why.
Maybe she's also not sure how to react. Maybe she's never been in a situation like this. Either way, you have to respect her space. Talk to her, and reach a compromise, and keep to it.
I hope that things work out for the best. Have faith.
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