A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Is it ok to chat with other guys over the internet (like nexopia or myspace) when you have a boyfriend? If you aren't being flirty or anything and they are people you know from school or something? Do you have to tell your boyfriend what you are doing or is it no big deal? I dunno the rules about this stuff.
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flirt, myspace, the internet Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007):
Hey girl..its oke to chat with friends from internet.
and yep do let your boyfriend know that you have friends you chat with over the interent. just so he knows because he might get the wrong idea if he found out himself and besides thats honesty and thats very important in a relationship.
A
female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (5 November 2007):
 Of course it's okay. Sometimes your significant other may get a little insecure, but just reassure them that the other people(namely guys) you're talking to are strictly just friends.
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A
female
reader, jodie  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 hiya bbe!!!!!!!yep, if i was u i would tell him, just to let him know like so he doesnt think ur hidin anythin or if he ever did find out whilst u didnt tell him then he might wonder why u kept it a secret!!!!!!just say u have known them for a long time and they're relli cool mates nd stuff nd fun to chat to!bbe, he's ur boyf and u luv him and he luvs u so u shud trust eachother!!!!!!gd luck xx jode xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): Hi. As long as your boyfriend knows you are doing 'casual' chatting, it is fine. You do not need to tell him every little detail IF it is only 'casual' chatting and doesn't turn into sexual talk. Then it is Cheating and Wrong. Talking to the opposite sex except about sex is always OK, if your boyfriend is uncomfortable with it, then he has the problem. If you turn it into a sex talk while chatting, then You have the problem.
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A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 Flirting is emotional cheating by today's revamped definitions based on numerous counselling sessions with couples who have communicated what they need and expect in a partner to feel safe, valued, cherished, and builds up trust and reliability.
Not all men or women see flirting and online activity with opposite gender or same sex as no big deal.
Again, talk to the BF to establish boundaries.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil +, writes (5 November 2007):
 The 'rules' are what you make them, but if your boyfriend has a problem with it he's very insecure and it really is HIS problem!
It's no different, on that level, to writing, talking on the phone or texting to friends surely?
Phil
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A
female
reader, Fade878 +, writes (5 November 2007):
What are the expectations of your boyfriend? Are these new men or trusted friends?
I have made it a rule in my youth and to now, that I would not do those things that cause pain intentionally or unintentionally to someone I care about.
It has prevented alot of heartache, misunderstandings, and has built up the trust and shown how honest, fair, and reliable I am.
If you are flirting with others who are not your BF, it is not something that demonstrates you are fair, honest, or even ready to have a BF.
If you cannot show honor to him and respect to him and give up this practice while in a commited relationship-just dont be in one.
If you don't know the rules, then you need to establish them with BF.
If what he has to say is not what you are willing to do, then end it.
There is no point doing something that will make him unhappy or staying with someone you see as unfair to you.
Just not worth it.
Be honest to yourself as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): Hey honey,I don't think it's a big deal. Like you said, if you aren't flirting, then it's not a problem x
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A
female
reader, peaches83 + ♥, writes (5 November 2007):
 If there is no other desire other than just to chat then it should be ok. But do inform your boyfriend of this dont keep it a secret otherwise it then looks like you have something to hide and that is not good at all.Your boyfriend must understand that you will have friends both male and female.One way of looking at it and deciding is if it was your boyfriend that was asking this question how would you feel and what would you advise???If you are ok for him to do it then he should be ok with you.Good luckPeaches
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