A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I wanted to get some advice since my love life is a mess ( or lack of). I have been single for a year and a half and I have tried a lot of things to find the “one” but nothing - I can’t seem to connect with men and the ones I do connect with or find sexually appealing are taken or I run into them in the hallway but are strangers etcI am not picky but sometimes when u see someoene for the first time before u realize their married or not - u notice their looks and I happened to find my married coworker very sexually appealing ( he seems like a bad man trash talks a lot of his significant other ) but I find his attractive I also have tried online dating but I can’t aeem to trust men on those sites I also have dated men in the past because I was getting desperate and that turned into a mess ( my ex ) I found him very sexually appealing but his personality was awfulI don’t know what to do .. I can’t seem to connect to men emotionally .. the men that make me feel comfortable inside have sometimes been a decade younger or just boys ..What is wrong with me .. I feel like I can’t seem to find the right in between I hope this post doesn’t come off as vain .. I try to be very open minded with men so much that they use me sometimes but I want to have the sexual and emotional connection Any tips
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male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (17 September 2018):
 I mean you kind of answered your own question. You clearly have a thing for "bad boys" and they are just that, bad. They have no responsibilities, no stable income, and no inclination to start something serious, which is what you're looking for. Stop paying so much attention to what sexually attracts you and start thinking beyond that. When you are old and wrinkled, who do you want by your side? What kind of interests do you have? What inspires you, motivates you? These are the questions that you have to answer, not just whatever makes you feel sexual.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (17 September 2018):
 Well at your age . . . don't you think it's about time to get past that bad boy thing?
The men you are attracted to have horrible personalities or trash talk their partners. It is no wonder you have trouble trusting men. You don't want the trustable type.
You are still looking for that dangerous "edge" in men. As long as that is the case. Cubs and bad boys will be your fare.
I don't think you are hopeless, most women out grow it eventually. The positive signs are, you won't put up with bad treatment, and you won't accept an unequal partner. In time your craving for excitement will self heal. Meanwhile you are doing a good job of taking care of your self.
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