A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is going to be a little long.I met this girl in one of my college classes. The flirting started when every time she would walk pass, she would turn around make eye contact and smile at me. Most of the time she would end up sitting near me during class - on one occasion a girl behind had a cold and was coughing so I turned around and offered her a cough drop when I turned back around she was staring right at me with a pissed off look on her face which was a little weird. I noticed that her close female friends would always smile at me whenever they would see me (as though she was telling them about me). The semester passed and I thought nothing of it.During the summer I was surprised to find out that the both of us were working for the same company. We spend most of our time together when we were at work. We both connected and I started developing feelings for her. Once again, her female co-workers started to smile at me whenever they saw me.When we returned to school, I found out from my friends that she was asking about me (I hadn’t seen her since the summer). The school year was coming to an end, so I decided to ask one of those friends if they could get me her number. Once I got it, I sent her a text message but she never replied. The weird thing is, right after I sent the message she stopped showing up to her classes and only showed up to write her exams. I later found out that she had a BF and was living with him; the BF was described to me as being big, muscular and scary looking.A few months passed and I finally got the courage to call her again, she answered and immediately asked how I had got her number, I told her and then there was the dreaded minute of silence, I went completely blank and all I could say was do you want me to hang up and she replied with a yes I think that would be best.Apparently she called her bf and gave him my name and number because 10 minutes later he called me up and basically threatened my life if I were to ever call her or go near her again. She was an outgoing and friendly person prior to my text message. A few days after the talk with her BF, I found out that she had removed herself from all of the social sites that she belonged to (i.e. facebook, classmates, friendster, etc.) It is as though she is trying to isolate herself from all of her friends - wanting no contact with them.I am confused and I have no idea what to do (if anything) - please any suggestions? Should I fight for her or just move on?
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female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (19 December 2008):
 Hello,
Yes, you got her number from friends...that was a bit creepy. Really, her friends shouldn't have given you that. When you text her, it may have worried her so she didn't reply. that was the time to leave it. Then a few months later when you called she was shocked and told her boyfriend. Leave well alone now. It's done and dusted. All OK and forgotten. Don't contact at all. xx
A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (19 December 2008):
 It really sounds like she was playing with you. Some people just like to flirt. Once you started pursuing her the game was over. It wasn't fun for her anymore. My brother is like that. Relationship or no, he'll flirt with every girl he see's. I don't condone it, and neither have any of his girlfriends, but that's just the way he is. Plus, it sounds like her boyfriend is very posessive. That might motivate her to spread her wings abit when he's not around. If that's the case and she wants to be with someone like that, you are probably better off with someone who's smart enough not to put up with that kind of behavior. I would count this whole thing as a valuable life experience and move on. BTW: Phil, I'm nearly 28 and I'm still in Grad School. I can only take two or three classes a year, becuase that's all I have time for with work and all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): It sounds like the safest thing to do would be to move on. Unless you're big and scary yourself, fighting might not be a good idea.
Can someone tell me at what age Americans finish going to school?
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