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female
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*uttie
writes: Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 months, he broke up with his ex at the beginning of the year and they have a daughter together. She moved up north with the little girl and he goes up and sees her about twice a week. When we first starting dating they were constanly at each other throats arguing and everything now they act like best mates. Recently his been getting texts and calls from her but they allways seem to talk when hes at work. One message she sent had a kiss (x) at the end of it and he replied back with a kiss at the end of his aswell. I finding it very hard to accept them as friends as im afraid theres more to it. He tells me he loves me all the time but how do i get rid of the jealousy and fear. His family and him have told me that he would never go back as she made his life hell when they were together but they have a daughter together so theres a connection there. I really dont know what to do, i dont want to walk away but i cant carry on feeling this way please help!
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female
reader, joanna44 +, writes (22 May 2006):
 just talk to him and tell him how your feeling and im sure if he loves you as much as you say he wil respect what you say and will do al he can to make you see you can trust him and theres nothing to worry about.if u love him hun stick by him and show him you trust and love him and he will know what a great, understanding girlfriend hes got.
dont chuck love away over nothing, u will regret it.
xxx
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (22 May 2006):
 Hey there, I can understand where you are coming from on this, but no matter what you do you cannot take away the fact that the ex is the mother of his child. She will always figure at some point as she is part of his life as is his daughter. The little (x)'s are probably mere pleasantries, of course he is going to care for his ex, they loved each other enough once to have a child afterall, so hes not gonna totally hate her, he wants what is best for his daughter and he always will, being pleasant and getting on is the best thing all round when there is a child involved, it saves the child being torn about as well as the parents! If you want to be with this man you are going to have to accept that he wants to be part of his daughters life, so unfortunately this means he will have contact with his ex, no matter how hard she made life for him before, its the child that matters in all of this, and men will do anything for a quiet life! He probably talks when hes at work as he doesnt want to upset you or rub your face in it, take a different view on this, this man is a great guy, he loves his daughter very much and wants her to know she has two parents, and the way to do that is to not fight with the mother, to protect his little girl, be greatful that this man is so kind, many dont care! He wouldnt be with you if he didnt want to be, you just need to jump this little hurdle. I have been with my man for 3 years, he has a little girl, and has regular contact with his ex, hes pleasant for the childs sake and probably goes along with what she says for easier life, but its me he comes home to, me that he loves and cares for, we have an excellent relationship and i dont mind that he has to see his ex, its part of life... at first yes i got a little concerned but as time goes on you begin to see what really matters, and worrying about stuff doesnt change it, if anything you will appear moody and the like towards him and he will feel this and you could ruin what you two have without the ex doing anything!
Take care
x
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