A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my wife walked out on me and my son 7 months ago. Six weeks ago, she meet a new guy which up set me so much as i did not know i still loved.Anyway, two weeks ago i asked her back to make a go of things and she said yes. Everything was so great. I was so happy. It was the best week of my life.On thursday night she went out with her friend and did not come home. In the morning I went to her flat and found her in bed with her ex boyfirend. Things got out of hand - the door got kicked, in not by me, was later nicked by the police but not chaged.I have stopped her seeing her son now and am going for a full court order - she has been doing coke with this guy.I love her so much. I do not know what to do. Her mum wants me to give her more time to make her mind up. But what type of mum needs time to work out saving her marrige and being with her 2yr? Isn't this more important than a guy she has been with for 5 weeks?She has a friend who is 19yrs telling her what to do. I feel my wife still loves me, but is not ready to settle down and be a family.I do not think it's fine that i have to act as mum and dad to our son - she has not paid me a penny since she left and i have now got the csa on to her. What do you think I should do?
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cheated on me, got back together, her ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello thanks for everyones help can you remove this q from the net as we are going to court soon and i do not want my ex wife to found this and use it in court thank for your help you did make the pain a bit better
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks your the best you have made me feel so much better today... let the weekend roll in so i can now some fun :)
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (26 September 2007):
 No I dont think that its fair. She is his mum and she has a right. However, if she shows any sign of being under the influence of drugs then I agree with you. Perhaps you could get her mum to be there at the same time, so you wouldnt have to worry. If she is as bad as you say, I dont think she will put in a lot of effort to see him anyway. She just wants to see him at the moment to bug you. In my mind you have to be a heartyless cow to walk out on your kid anyway. I know Men do it all the time, but I cannot understand how a woman can.
I had a really hard time bringing up my kids on my own, but there is no way I would have given them up. I would die for them. They are 27 and 20 now, and they adore me.
Your child will work out for himself what a good father you are, it may take a long time, but he will, trust me.
Stick to your guns, and be strong for your little one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondo you think am right to stop her seeing her son as she says am using him to get back at her
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhope so thanks for your help it makes it feel much better having someone to talk to about this keep up the great work
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (26 September 2007):
Sometimes though, what you think would be the best thing for you can turn out to be the worse. I understand that you want your family to be together, but at what cost to your little boy. Is it fair for him to see her come back for a while then go again. I really honestly think you would be so much happier in the end if you moved on. You will find a girl that will fall in love with you and your child and not break your heart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for you reply she told me that she had been doing coke and speed with him.
its just so hard as all i wanted was for as to be family.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (26 September 2007):
Hi,
I am really sorry, but if she loved you she would'nt have done this.
Your son is a very lucky little boy to have such a great dad. I know how hard it must be for you but, I would not have her back. How do you know she has been doing coke with this guy?.
If you did have her back, could you ever trust her again. She has broken you down into thinking she wanted to try, and then abused you again. Why put yourself and your Son through anymore torment. Let her go, and you and your son, can eventually move on. But if you keep having her back it will only upset your child more.
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