A
female
age
51-59,
*agirl
writes:I am in such a mess emotionally! :( I dated a man for almost 2 yrs and he broke up with me last April. It was painful for both of us, but it was a long distance relationship and he wanted to find a lady who lives closer to him and doesn't have children. He continue to email me after the breakup and through emails he told me he wanted to remain "friends."After about four months he called, then he started calling me about 2xs per week. I was so excited because I thought this was a step in the direction of -he was missing me and was considering taking me back. The last time he called he hinted that he had a new gf.. My question is, Why would a man call his ex when he has someone new? I am devastated and I, personally, would not consider calling an ex when I'm in a new relationship. I am still hurting for this man so much even now, but am confused as to why he is even calling me!!Thank you for any insight you may have..
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broke up, his ex, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cagirl +, writes (26 September 2007):
cagirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for your advice! Yes, to the anonymous female, he even admitted to me when he broke up that he waited and waited.. It's so wonderful to hear a males perspective as well. I thank you all for responding. I have a lot of thinking to do, and luckily am going on a vacation starting Friday, so I will have plenty of time to take out for myself. Thank you again, all of you, for responding!
A
female
reader, elitzabeth +, writes (26 September 2007):
 When it comes to relationships, there is always one person who gives too much love, and there is the receiver regarless of gender. Apparently, you were the giver since you still want him back, and he is the receiver. You know is good to be a receiver, isn't it? Just think about it.. Wouldn't you like to have someone there to support you and care for you? That is grest!!! Just having someone to talk to..In the mean time he is getting acquintance with the other girl...
What I am trying to make you understand is that he calls you b/c he likes your feedback, not because he wants you back. He was very clear about what he wanted and he got it already. Why don't you start doing the same thing? Be a receiver, not a giver... I am not saying that to give is bad, but you deserve to receive some love and companionship too...
good luck and move on..
PS: I have to agree with Frank a litte, but you two are in a longdistance so I don't see how the sex is going to happen anytime soon? Although anything can happen in this life; you never know lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): He is not doing this for you but for him. A lot of people have trouble leaving an ex because it will make them suffer. You know break-ups are like if the person had died and for some people that feeling is unbearable. You said it, he wanted a woman who lived closer and without kids but I bet he waited and waited to break up with you because he didn't wanted to lose you completely because it was too painful for him. Well, now I believe is your time to find what's BEST FOR YOU and that is not speaking to idiots with girlfriends who like to play with your feelings just for their own sake. He has already moved on, lives far away... I say Don't answer his calls anymore. It doesn't do you any good and it'll help you to move on faster.
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A
male
reader, abraham brown  +, writes (26 September 2007):
Frank is rite he would call his ex for sex.Move on with your life is what i advise you
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is hard to judge without knowing the nature of the conversations, if his just being friendly then that shouldnt be a problem for an ex to call, i still speak to a few of my ex's admittedly not 2x a week (little to often), but more a hows life going every now and again, if we stayed on friendly terms. If this guy has a g/f now and is still calling you up with a romantic interest then his is out of order not just to you, but also his new g/f. From what i read you still seem to have a candle burning for this guy and that gives the idea he can mess you both around. I would ask him out right if he has a new g/f and if he does you need to break off the phone call with him before you get hurt. But he may also be playing games and there is know new g/f and he want you to get jealous (sad i know if it true, but he may be trying to pull at your eart strings). So you need to ask him out right and then go with your heart from there
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (26 September 2007):
 You asked: Why would a man call his ex when he has someone new?
Frank Answer: Sex, sex and more sex.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): HE WANTS YOU BACK!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): sometimes men will move on to a different relationship for reasons of their own, some men cant be committed to a relationship for a long time, only because in the back of their mind their always looking for something better. I think in this case he found that new girl, and relized she's not everything he expected. so he probably regrets leaving you and he relizes he was better off with you but he wont admit it. now hes stuck in a relationship he doesnt really want, and at the same time doesnt want to let you go completely ,thats why i believe hes still calling you he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
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