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She invited me to church but doesn't want to go on dates.

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2014)
A male United States age 26-29, *resario2010 writes:

So I recently meet up with this girl I dated in high school and she invited me to church with her and we went together sometimes! So anyways at first I thought she lost all feelings for me but the first time I went with her to church I could feel that she still had some feelings for me! I tried to ask her out a couple times non church related and she said she was busy or had church things to do, so I started to feel bad because I thought she was rejecting me! I text her and it's always fun to talk to her but I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel as though She is just being nice to me and trying to reject me slowly as to not hurt my feelings, but I would accept that but it just seems that the times we have meet she really likes me and I just love how I feel when i'am around her, and deep down I know I should move on but I can't maybe I need to get away and try to forget, but it hurts! Should I ask her to go to church with her sometime maybe in a couple of weeks after no contact? What really gets me is that we have been facebook friends forever and she has never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship with anybody, she just hanged out with me? What should I do?

View related questions: facebook, move on, never had a boyfriend, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 July 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIf she has never dated or had a BF, she might ONLY invite you to church events because it can't really be considered as a date.

My guess is, she isn't allowed to date yet or she isn't INTERESTED in dating yet.

You could ask her straight out if she is interested in dating (and/or like Uncle WiseOwlE said) going out for a dinner.

I think if you are looking for a GF, someone to date - she isn't it.

And I think... that fact that you haven't asked her is because you are afraid of being turned down, but you NEED to ask her. Or you will waste more time and energy on something there will never be more then going to church with a person.

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A male reader, methuselah United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2014):


Ask yourself...Do you want to date her or have her as a friend? If you want to date her, then she doesn't seem dating material. Do not be her friend in the hope she will want you. You will spend months and months hanging around and it will drive you crazy. Ask her out again on a date. If she is 'busy' then walk away. Thanks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2014):

I'm not sure how you met up with her, but it sounds like she just wants to be friends. At best, she MAY be feeling you out for a potential boyfriend but if she's a church girl, depending on the church, she may not feel right asking a guy out. (I'm in a church where that is not acceptable). You did try a few times, but she turned you down due to church things. Has she always been indirect and polite? It's possible that she's changed, or that she's letting you down easy. You can ask her directly and say, "Sarah, I really like you and I'm glad we reconnected. I'd like to take you out some time. Would you be open to that or would you rather just remain friends?" I don't think there is any way she can get around that question and she can still do that politely. BE prepared that she might pull away and stop inviting you to church because if she's like me, she'll feel bad, like she's been accidentally leading you on.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (30 June 2014):

She likes you as a friend and may not have any romantic feelings. You are asking us, what you should be asking her.

Ask the lady if you can take her out to dinner and if she would like to date. Period.

If she persists with the church-dates, move on. She's a little weird. Not for her faith, but for not just spelling things out like an adult.

You're being weird, by not just coming right out and asking the lady why she doesn't want to go out with you. If you need to know something from someone, you ask.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2014):

I think you should confront the girl and be realistic. Ask her if she is in it to win it, be casual but don't make it sound like your interrogating her

Best of luck

If all doesn't work out try looking for someone else

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