A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been having an affair for the last 2 years now with a married woman. We love each other but know what we are doing is wrong. We have tried to cool things down more than once but our feelings for each other are too strong. Anyway when we are together we often get close. We both enjoy the sex but immediatly when we have finished she becomes upset about what we have done. When I see her like this I tell her its best to stop. However, a few weeks later we start again and again she gets upset after. I am completly confused since I love her deeply and never want to lose her. However, it tends to kill my passion when I start to make love knowing she will be upset later. She dosent like talking about it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): I think you have to persuade her to talk about it. This will help you see things from her perspective and better understand what the problem is. Leave it to her to initiate any sexual activity. Ask yourself really honestly if the feelings you have for each other are really love or are they lust? Maybe she doesn't feel tha same as you as far as that's concerned.
My guess - it's purely guilt feelings about cheating on her husband, but from my experience women cry for many reasons. She could be experiencing any amount of emotions giving the impression that she's upset.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): Does she have a good opinion about her husband? What in their marriage is worth staying and what isn't? The guilt for having done a wrong may be the reason why she reacts in this manner. The fact that she won't communicate will only prolong this situation until ruin. Maybe the problems at home have become so unbearable that they go far in thwarting the quieting effect of your intimacy, if that was ever the case. Maybe there is a pain related to actual sex, but we can merely speculate and can be far from the truth. Talk to her and find out.
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