A
male
age
36-40,
*rt_brokn_guy
writes:well this is a long story i'll try to make it short but plz try to be a bit patient and read the whole things cos i really need help.i'm a 22 year old guy livin in asia i'm not a very social person cos i was bullied most of my childhood by class mates and others. so i used to spend a lot of time in chatrooms and one day while i was chatting i met this girl who is from miami and we talked a lot. then i added her on yahoo messenger and we wud chat a lot cos she was online most of the time. she was goin out with a guy then but it didn't last long and he dumped her. she was sooo depressed from that but i was there to talk to her and comfort her. then one day she told me that she loves me and asked me if i want to get into a long distantce relationship and i said yes without considerin anythin. we were chatting on yahoo for a couple of month then we started talking over the phone a couple of hours everyday and then i started makin issues about how we are ever gonna get together. i felt that i won't be able to go to usa so i wannted to end it. but she started cryin her heart out and she promised me that she wud come for me no matter what. i believed her cos she is 18. so i stayed with her and started loving her even more. a day without talking to her was almost unbearable for me cos i had grown so fond of her love. but she kept hidin me from her family. her parents are divorced and she lives with her aunt and her mom keeps a keen eye on her. so i started makin issues about she hidin me and stuff so she told her mom about me and that she is hopin to come for me one day to my country. her mom had told she would think about it but my girl promised me she would come for me no matter what. anyway things went on like this for like a month and suddenly she calls me oneday and tells me that her momhas threatened her to stop our relationship orelse she is going to take away her phone and computer so we won't be able to keep in touch anyway. i was devastated but i dunno how she reacted she just said she was too shocked to even cry. anyway she left me within 10 minutes cos she said her aunt was threatening her to call her mom if she didn't stop right away. when i asked she told me that she gave the promise cos she hoped that her mom wud be ok with our relationship. she then left me after saying she loves me and that she is sorry. she said all of those stuff on yahoo messenger cos i cudn't talk and i was too busy cryin so i didn't know she was cryin.i feel betrayed,sad angry all the negative feelings a human being cud feel. i had stayed with her when my whole family was forcin me to break up with her. but she left me just like that. we used to talk for hours on the phone during the nights. but now i feel alone and i start gettin awful depressions every night. i miss talking to her and i can't believe she did that to me. my mind keeps showin me glimpses of her being with some other guy (i had seen her pic and she had mine as well) and that manages to break me down every time. i dunno what to do. i can't fight the depression anymore. can someone plz give me advise about how i could mend my broken heart and how cud escape this brutal depressions plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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broke up, bullied, chat room, depressed, divorce Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 I have to agree with the first answerer; this girl does not sound like she is 18 years of age. If she was, she could move out and make her own decisions. I'm afraid you may have been talking with an underage girl.
Okay, how do you get over it? First of all, I suggest that you turn off your computer for a while and stop using the chatrooms as an escape route. Spending time on line isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it sounds like you don't have balance in that regard. It sounds as though you don't go out and talk to people in the real world.
I don't know why you were bullied, but I expect this has damaged your self-esteem. That needs work and it may help to talk to a counselor if you can. I think you should try to find something that you like to do, join that club (again, in the real world) and go learn more about it, while meeting people who share this interest. I don't care if it is hang-gliding, table tennis, flower-arranging or bungee jumping. Just choose something you like to and then get out there.
You've given this girl too much of your heart too soon, this is a very hard lesson to learn, and painful. But don't let it lock you inside your head, inside your room, inside your house. Turn that computer OFF and go take a walk, go look at the sky and the earth and the plants and most of all at your fellow human beings. Watch them, they come and go on errands. Some are happy, some are sad. You're not alone in feeling hurt and sorrow.
You just need to find the balance in your life again. Work on that self-esteem and practice doing things that you enjoy and are halfway decent at doing. Make friends with all kinds of people. Old, young, rich, poor. Learn their stories, hear about their lives. There's a whole rich world out there that you are missing by sitting in chatrooms, where people aren't always what they say they are.
Get your daily exercise and fresh air. Practice breathing exercises to relax you and ease anxiety. Eat well. Get a good night's sleep. See your doctor and discuss this depression.
It will take time but you will recover from this blow. You just have to build yourself up again, and I'm sure you can if you set your mind to it. Set your jaw, chin up, shoulders squared, get out there and FACE the real world!
Good luck.
A
male
reader, hrt_brokn_guy +, writes (14 November 2008):
hrt_brokn_guy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe is 18 she just finished high school and hopin to go to culinary school
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): Are you SURE she is 18? My first reaction was that she is not yet 18. Pictures can be deceiving.
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