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She and her Mother are turning me against my own family! Help!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 February 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2010)
A male India age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Recently I got introduced to a girl who is still in her school.She is average in looks.But, somehow she and her mother focred me into this relationship.I feel her mother has used some technique that I am totally mesmerised.It started only as friendship.But now I am totally in love with her.I dont know whether it is infatuation.So much so, there are a lot of disturbances in life.I have a very big goal to achieve, which is getting diluted.I am staking my father's reputation.I have neglected my mother and sister, who were once so dear to me.My girlfriend and her mother instigate me against them.I want to come out of this rut. Please help.I feel the mother is a venomous female. I dont knw how far there is truth , but I get an eerie feeling that my girlfriend's mom is using some method to keep me hooked. Will I lose sight of my goals?I want to be my old self

please dont publish this. I want confidentiality

thank you

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2010):

Walk away and cut all contact. You're only as memorized as you allow yourself to be.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010):

Ya know if you don't like the relation it sounds very unhealthy that's one thing right there and you say you have goals big ones well nobody that loves you should ever get in the way they should be helping, now occassionally you make sacrafices but usually they are ones that aren't big and important and it sounds like yours is and if it getting to make hastle in your family then run as fast as your legs can Carry you but remeber do what you feel we can throw ideas and our input we give you the tools an tell you how to use them but you are the one with the decisions and my suggestion remember getting a broken heart sucks if this girl likes you try to be easy on her basically make it a reasonable breakup i'd do it in person as well that way there will be a good closure in the relation after all who wants to get hurt or hurt anyone I wouldn't cuz I know how that feels so don't hurt her to bad

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A female reader, yolanda7 Sri Lanka +, writes (16 February 2010):

you are slightly young to know what is the right thing to do, but I would say, follow your heart and your mind. Don't let them make the decisions for you, if you love the girl, ask her straight out, and explain your situation to her. If she follows what her mom says, you've got to back away, ur future is more important, and love should Never be a trap ok? So find out if you really care abt her, and if u do, speak to her. If its infatuation, you've got to back away, and acieve your dream. Take care!

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A female reader, Susie Q United States +, writes (16 February 2010):

It definitely sounds as if this is an unhealthy relationship and by you writing for help, I believe you are aware of that. You must end this relationship! I know it may seem hard and they will continue to manipulate you but you must stand your ground! Why do you think they have control over you? Or, are you just using this for an excuse to keep from doing what's right?

At the very least you need to stay away from the "girlfriend's" mother until you have your head back on straight! Actually, it's probably preferable to avoid both of them for at least a week. I mean, NO contact whatsoever! No phone calls, no visits, zilch! This will probably be the only way to give yourself the time to think clearly. Best of luck!

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A female reader, eby United States +, writes (16 February 2010):

I'm in that situation too,i know what you re suffering.but the only advice that i can give you dont ever let someone drive you to abandon your parents.trust me your family is the only person who will be at your side when you do not know what to do.so far try to get the girl discorage,and disgust you and you will find back your family first love,in the other hand,put your goal first.make your own strong calandar that no one will be able to change.say to youself''family or love''my tommowow or hers''and you will make your own choice and get out.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (16 February 2010):

Aunty BimBim agony auntWhy don't you just walk away, if you feel you cant do this on your own, ask your father or another older male relative to help you.

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