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Self conscious about my eye, how do I deal with people who make fun of me for this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 December 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 14 December 2011)
A male Finland age 30-35, *andomdude123 writes:

So first of all, im blind in 1 eye. I don't feel like going into detail about it but I can say ive have a lot problems that have come along with it. If I look even the slightest bit upwards my blind eye goes completely crosseyed and it has been very annoying for instance getting on busses or when im sitting down and someone is standing up and talking to me. Due to my eye and also other reasons I have had severe anxiety and depression at 1 point, but ive reduced both alot. Now im building my confidence and just trying to ignore my eye and also im trying to bilieve when people tell there is nothing noticeable about it. But then a couple days ago when i was at the busstop waiting for the bus and I was tired and my eye might have been a little messed up. Somebody was on the bus next to me looking at me and laughing. I didn't really pay much attention to it until his friend was actually leaning on him so she could also see me i got a little fustrated. My bus came about 10s after, while the bus was still waiting there and they were both pointing and laughing at me like I was some kind of comedian. This completely shaddered my confidence and now i feel like pulling my freaking eye out. Please somebody give me some tips on how to deal with a-holes like this.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (14 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI'm blind in my right eye. I was born this way. When I am stressed or tired the eye moves in towards my nose and crosses... I was born cross eyed but years of patching (full time so they made fun of me in school)helped that. It just never gave me vision in that eye....

I know what you are gong through. It will get better.

The suggestions of sunglasses or an eye patch are good if you are comfortable with that.

Personally I know it's hard but the truth of the matter is the best thing to do is totally ignore them. Eventually they will stop. And as you all age, you will find that maturity goes a long way.

Hugs to you.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (13 December 2011):

fi_the_tree agony auntNext time people point or stare, just say to them "I may be blind in one eye, but i can still see that you are a jerk!"

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (13 December 2011):

What they was childish and cruel. You could always ask them nicely what is so funny or what the joke is. If that doesn't guilt them into behaving immediately and they so much as mention 'your eye' in response, you can then retort, "really, you think being blind in one eye is funny?" If they have any empathy at all, they will immediately stop laughing and will be incredibly uncomfortable.

If you simply wish to prevent this from happening in the future, you could wear dark sunglasses on the bus, or even an eye patch over the eye.

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A male reader, randomdude123 Finland +, writes (13 December 2011):

randomdude123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys for your loving words, i truly respect what you just said :) I know what I am supposed to do, but it's just hard to apply them. I have friends and family that love me and respect me so i'm lucky to have them. Thanks again guys I really appriciate it!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (13 December 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWhen I was a kid, one of THE most-successful guys in my town - with the ladies - was a guy who had only one eye... having lost his other in a fish-hook accident when he was a kid...... Take it from me.... you are overplaying this... and there's no reason for you to give the matter a second thought.....

Good luck....

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A female reader, bluecow United Kingdom +, writes (13 December 2011):

bluecow agony auntA very close friend of mine has only 1 eye. She is a beautiful successful woman with a gorgeous hubby and 2 beautiful children.

When I first met her I noticed that there was something different about her eye but couldnt put my finger on it... not until she removed it infront of me. I nearly fell through the floor, and this has now become her party trick.

I phoned her after reading your post to get some real advice from someone who lives with a similar condition. She explained that as a teenager she found that she was much more concious of it - almost to the point of paranoia. She also found that some people would comment or stare or make fun (in particular class mates). Her response was to bluff it out. She would smile sweetly and then remove her eye (that party trick again). She used to carry a ping pong ball in her pocket, and if the taunts were particularly nasty she would take her eye out and throw the ping pong ball at them. In the end people stopped staring and started laughing. This is what she suggests you do... start to see the funny side and embrace the humour your kinky eye gives. If people are giggling, then grin and say something in agreement... remove the fear of the affliction and people will just accept it for what it is.

OK, I did a little research of my own. I believe there are operations which can fix a blind eye into place to stop it moving around.. however they do hold risks and can be permanently uncomfortable as eyes often move in tandem. Its not something I think I would consider.

As for dealing with the tossers...ignore the insensitive a-holes. If it really bothers you, then you can approach and ask them if they want to ask you any questions. Tackling the problem head on often makes them shut up and think again about making further comments.

My son has some minor disabilities and so far at 5 yo he hasnt yet noticed the looks he gets. However I have, and I prefer to tackle them head on.

Wishing you all the very very best. xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011):

I'm so sorry you had to encounter such disgusting behaviour. It can be hard to accept that there are still so many utterly rude and immature people in this world, who think nothing of trampling all over the self-esteem of those whom they perceive to be in a disadvantaged position in comparison. It would be easy to tell you to just ignore that sort of treatment, but I completely understand that it's easier said than done!

What you must always remember is that the people who matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter. You're a wonderful person, and that you don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself but continue to try and live life to the full despite everything makes you stronger and braver than any coward who'll do all he or she can to beat you down. Those idiots on the bus may have been laughing now, but one day they may find themselves in a far worse position than you. Chin up, love. Life's to short to let it get to you :) Good luck and take care x

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