A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. Okay, so I usually am never confused when it comes to dating. But this time im stuck! Ive been dating my boyfriend for a year now. Im muslim and he is not. My family will never accept him if he ever wants to marry me. Im his first love. We both love each other so damn much to the point it hurts. I cheated on him twice but I did not feel bad I HAVE NO IDEA WHY but yet I love him so much! So, long time ago I went to the club and saw this really good looking guy, I was drunk and went up to him and said "you are so sexy" .. and walked away... a year later, I saw him at my friends wedding! The whole night we did not take our eyes from one another.. He found me on facebook and added me. We exchanged numbers. Its been 5 days since weve been texting. I finally told him today I have a boyfriend. This new boy in my life is muslim as well and is super sweet but he got frustrated when I told him I have a boyfriend. He wants to take me out only if I am done with my boyfriend. I am stuck :( I know I will have a future with this new man because my family will accept him. But the heart break with my bf and I will just hurt.. But eventually I will get over it as time passes by... What do I do now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): As a Muslim I believe your family would be very disappointed to find that you are drinking to the point of getting drunk.And promiscuous to the point where you will where you have cheated on your current boyfriend.And the new boy you have met is naturally reluctant to consider you while you are in a relationship.Your family may well find it difficult to find a suitable husband for you to marry while you continue to behave in less than honorable ways (in terms of the requirements of a practising Muslim).Your current boyfriend who is not Muslim is being dissed by you since you keep wanting to cheat.Sadly it seems you do not know your own mind. And you keep thinking the grass is always greener on the other side?You say you do love your current boyfriend to bits?And you seem to think that your parents have to approve of your husband?Except you are not observing the Muslim religion by your own stated actions?And you live in Canada?And you are over 18 years old?And Canada allows you, in the circumstances to marry anyone you like.So you could marry your existing boyfriend assuming he too is older than the legal marriage age?And you can do that without parental consent. And you can go live with him as your husband and you his wife and your parents cannot stop that,But could you remain faithful? Never marry a man unless you are resolved to never cheat.And never choose a husband Designed to appeal to your parents.It is You who will live with the husband, share your kife, conversation, your thoughts, experiences, your finances, children, trials and tribulations, And your body. Not your parents. Muslim or not. Your parents brought you up. But no one Owns you and never will. And you are an adult. You decide who you marry, when you marry and where you marry.This is the 21st century and you are in Canada. Please use that information to help you make wise choices.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (15 October 2011):
 You'll get over your current boyfriend. I know that sounds harsh, but obviously all is not well in your relationship with him.
Marrying a fellow Muslim would be better in so many ways. BUT you might have to make some adjustments! Muslims are forbidden to drink alcohol, have sex unless married.......maybe your parents don't mind, but think about the fact that a devout Muslim boyfriend most definitely WOULD. Big problems in the offing.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): Something tells me you want more than your current relationship. That is why you cheated. That is why you are considering this other guy. You still love him, yes. But you still want somethig more. It's unfortnate, but you will have to break his heart. Because going on with this relationship is just unhealthy. Don't worry about what your parents "approve of" also.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 October 2011):
 If I am honest with you there is obviously something lacking in your current relationship, because if there wasn't you would never have cheated. There is obviously a deep reason why you cheated. Am sure you feel love for him but if it was deep enough you would never have even thought on cheating.
As for your family, am sure you are true to your beliefs and want to please them, but at the end of the day it is your life and you should live it whatever way you want to, don't let them influence your life style choices. You have a big decision to make. But you need to follow your own heart.
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