A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My guy and I are in a difficult position. We're not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend but we've been dating for 4 months. I,ve met his family and I want him to meet mine. but because he works so hard and late we barely get to see each other Once a week maybe once every 2 weeks and my mum has me on a curfew! I have to be home before 01:00am. My guy and I could meet at 21:00pm and I,d have to be left home before 1 and It drives me crazy!!! We never get to see each other and yet she's judging him before she even met him. He doesnt have a bad rep but shes just so over protective. I pay rent in house but she wont hear of me being out late. What can I do??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 October 2011):
 I am not sure, but I think she may be uncomfortable about the general set up. You are not boyfriend and girlfriend, you are just getting together a couple of times a month... she may feel that he's using you for sex and/ or does not want to be confronted with your sexuality, so she is not going to facilitate what maybe in her eyes is just a fling. She does not see the reason to make exceptions to the house rules for what is not a relationship yet.
I must admit that if I were your mum I'd smell a rat too. Why can you only meet up every two weeks ? How hardworking can he be, he MUST have AT least one, one and a half day offa week ! Is he working non stop twelve hours a day EVERY day ? Are you sure he can't MAKE any time for you ? Or, he just does not want to make time ?...
I agree that this should be irrelevant, after all, you are of legal age, and if you want to sleep out , you should be able to do it whomever you are going to spend your night with,whether he be the love of your life , or a casual hook up.
But I think that for a mum, and an overprotective one, it's really hard to see it this way.
Anyway- her house her rules, so if she won't budge,..you'll just have to move out. Since you are already paying rent, why don't you do it anyway ?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 October 2011):
 while you are paying rent, there still are rules that are about respect. coming in after 1 am might disturb her rest. I can get that.
the curfew is only every few weeks.. why is that?
if you are paying rent to mom, why not move out and get a roommate instead?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): Oh Flynn here u got it wrong:Its still the Mothers house. She has rules . If the OP doesn't want to abide by the rules she must move out. Simple!So your guy works from 8am to 9 pm every day and u get to see him every 2 weeks. Why? What about weekends?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): You are an adult. What your mother wants is irrelevant now.
You want to see your boyfriend, then see him. You want to stay out, then stay out.
What your mother thinks of him, is up to her. It's what YOU think of him that matters, not her.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): If she's so hard working why not explain that to her? The fact that he's responsible and mature enough to hold down a job and work hard might make her see sense. Why not sit her down to watch one of these 'reality' tv shows. The type were you see girls with strict parents go mental and do everything they're told not to. Obviously you'd need to sneak it into a night in. Seems daft but I know a girl who has done this and it worked surprisingly well, after her Mum started complaining about how being so over protective drove those kids into being crazy it dawned on her that that's what she's like. Good luck :)
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