A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months now, and of course we have been fooling round for a while but its always foreplay. You see, we're both virgins and I'm willing to go a little further with the intimacy but he holds back. The only thing he really does is dry fingering (rubbing me with my pants/panties still on). When I try touching him in his area, he kinda weirds out on me, and then we both end up feeling stupid. To make matters very confusing, he tells me he wants me like crazy but he doesn't act upon it. He isn't shy or anything its just that he thinks a lot while we mess around. Don't get me wrong, I love him very, very much but I can't help but want to SHOW I love him too.So my questions are: -How do I get him to stop holding back?-Do I make the move, or wait for him to make the move?--Even when I do make the move, how do I not wierd him out?-Or do I just leave him alone about it and give up?Seriously, I'm really confused about it and advice will be very much appreciated. Oh and not to mention that I'm getting tired of foreplay *haha*. :)Okay, thank you! ;)
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both virgins, fingering, foreplay, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): in a way he is holding back but maybe he wants to have sex but does not know how to wait the time will come and great things will happem
A
female
reader, Emjo  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Maybe he's not ready yet but is too ashamed to say so?
3 months isnt really a long time, you need to be careful not to pressure him into something he doesnt want to do, try talking to him about it in a balanced and understanding manner? x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 December 2009):
Young men can be just as scared as young women about losing their virginity. He might be really nervous. So talk to him about it. Tell him you'd like to explore the physical side of your relationship, and see where it leads. It just sounds like he's a bit nervous.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Is he small, and worried that you might laugh?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 December 2009):
Well talk to him! If you are willing to lose your virginity to this guy you have to be prepared to have conversations about awkward things.
It may be he's not ready for sex and if that's the case then you shouldn't pressure him.
Talk to him and ask him how he's feeling and what he wants to do about the physical side of your relationship.
Communication is the KEY thing in any relationship and if you can't get that right then having sex may not be the best thing.
Good Luck!! xx
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