A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing a specialist doctor over the last couple of years about an medical problem regarding an intimate area and have to see him again in the future for check ups. I feel a bit uncomfortable around him. He stares at my lips the whole time and looks at my bum. No big deal and i'm not worried about him comming on to me because I don't think he would. However I get the distinct impression he really doesn't like me and is annoyed with me the whole appointment. I don't think I am imagining it as my sister was with me and noticed it too. I don't flirt with him and am polite so what is his problem? i find it a bit annoying as I have to see him fairly regularly and the appointments make me feel uncomfortable.
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female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (14 November 2012):
Is he older? Could he be reading your lips due to a hearing impairment?
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (14 November 2012):
funny, so_very_confused, because it was entirely the opposite for me. Doctors with bad bedside manners turned out to be bad at their profession too. After all, if they do not care about their patient's wellbeing, they're not going to be very motivated to improve their health.
I remember being referred to a gyno by my doc and when I explained to her what he had said she rolled her eyes and told me there was no way he could have gotten to that conclusion based on the examination he did. I switched docs. A year later I came to this new doc worried about neck pain sustained in a car crash a week before that. He waved it off as nothing and prescribed some pain killers. Turns out I had a whiplash. 3 years later, I'm still not pain free. Another doctor waved off an infection my mom had as the flu. She spent half a year dealing with the consequences. All of these had bad bedside manners.
So in short: if you feel your doctor is not treating you the right way, he probably isn't. Leave him and find someone who does make you feel comfortable. There are so many doctors out there, there's bound to be one who will work for his/her money. Besides, in this crisis you have to be picky. Why waste money on someone who makes you squirm every time you're there?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 November 2012):
 I'm going to tell you that for me in my experience most doctors with LOUSY bedside manners are usually excellent in their field and I tend to tough it out with them especially if they are a specialist and I only have to see them once in a while.
you say you will have to see him for check ups... is that quarterly or yearly?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): Time to get a new doctor. Explain to your health care provider service that you feel uncomfortable with this current one and you would prefer a female physician.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (13 November 2012):
 What has your sister noticed too? That he stares at your bum and lips, or that he doesn't seem to like you? And which of the two annoys you?
These are two very different issues. I'd answer the question if I could work out what you're uncomfortable about.
If you're that uncomfortable, my advise would be to ask to see another doctor.
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