A
female
age
36-40,
*pple-s
writes:Hi all, im in a relationship with a guy for 9 months now. He's 55 years old im 28 years old And he's never suggested taking me out anywhere. He has been married twice. His second wife had her own house he moved in before he got married to her, they are now divocing, they've been seperated for 8 years now. he lives in a studio flat. I live with my 5 year. He lied to me a few times his age was one of them and that he's never been married. Months down the line he told me in an agurement that he's married but been seperated for 8 yrs. And he was scared to tell me that he's actully 55 yrs old. Before then i was already in love with him. I strongly believed this loved me i thought he was gonna take care of me and my son. I showed him so much love. But his actions sometimes shows me he doesnt care. 4 weeks ago he took me to a sea food resturant which was very nice. I was very happy ive even thanked him for doing it for him. He's never comes up with plans for us to do. My birthday he didnt buy me nothing not even a card. He only texted me saying happy birthday. Didnt plan nothing for us on my birthday. Yesterday we were talking about gifts. He told me he use to buy flowers for his ex wife he's now divocing. So i was shocked!! I asked him how come he never buys me a gifts. He tells me we dont live together to buy me flowers. He said only does it when he lives with a woman, i see him 3 times a week now he's telling me i should move on and find someone who will do these things for me, he said he finds it hard to do these things because its not natural. He tells me all the time out of the blue that he's not good enough for me. 7 months ago i bought him custom made cufflink with name on it. Buy he's never given me any gifts. And it hurts. When i talk to him about it he just say see im not good enough for you, this man told me everyday he loves me. He hangs up the phone on me when i talk to him about my feelings and asking him why he dont do gestures for me. He just tells me we dont live together then tells me the i should find someone else cause he's not doing it. I dont want to move on cause i love him.
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ex-wife, flowers, his ex, move on, moved in, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 October 2016):
 He does not want to be with you. That is clear. He is obviously getting something from you. But if he cannot be bothered making an effort then you should take his advice and find someone who won't lie to you and who will make an effort to be with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2016): The old guy should be kissing the ground you are walking on!!!! And making an effort every single day!!!
What an idiot he is!!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (25 October 2016):
 There are more to being in a relationship than to have a man "take" care of you and buy you gifts. BUT for you, that is a way for a person to show you love. And he isn't doing it because he CAN'T be bothered.
You give him what he wants/needs from you without having to put in much of an effort. So why should he bother?
So tell me, WHAT is it about him you LOVE so much? The fact that he lied to you, in the beginning, to get in your panties? The fact that he doesn't THINK you are worth the time an effort to occasionally take out to dinner or a nice date? Or even BUY you a $5 bouquet of flowers?
He will not change, he isn't with you out of love but boredom and that will probably be why he will eventually dump you and move on to another desperate woman with even fewer "demands" than you.
WHY is it that you think you are not worth more of an effort?
Let him go, you not only deserve a BETTER man, you deserve to respect yourself and not let some old goat use you for entertainment purposes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2016): You thought he was going to take care of you and your son? But he does not right? I am figuring he doesnt give sh...t, correct? Not even a little outing here and there?My question is why on Earth are you seeing a guy who is twice your age and on top of that he is lazy, has no money... and lazy. Laziness is a very common feature fro guys his age. They have an attitude "i ve seen it all all, and have done this". Testosteron goes down and so zest for life. They are lousy in sex because of this same reason:laziness. There is nothing you can do here. You are not even 30, he could be your father age wise. You have a generation between you. And that would be ok if this guy was a different person. If he was enthusiastic about you, had money and wanted to spend them for little pleasures of life like a pretty 28 year old woman, and do fun stuff in life. But instead he is boring old fart who tells you to piss off, and it buggles my mind why you are not doing it
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (25 October 2016):
 What do you love about him?
Sounds like a lazy, loser if I'm being honest. I think he's doing you a favour by telling you to find someone else and you're perfectly young enough to find someone who will be on the same page as you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2016): Take his advice. Look for someone else.
Are you looking for someone to support you and your son; and just desperate for help? Or just desperate for a man?
He's an old fart, twice-divorced, doesn't reciprocate your feelings; and you were told you should find someone else.
Sounds like you've already received some pretty sound advice.
Listen to him.
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A
female
reader, dragonsbabe +, writes (25 October 2016):
If someones telling you how they are..then in my experience its usually true??
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