A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! My boyfriend says that my vagina does not feel teh same as it did when we began having sex 9 months ago. He refers to it as being loose and accuses me of cheating on him. I have tried kegels (excessively and obsessively) and have been unsuccesful. I have also tried all of the oldwives remedies; vinegar, hot baths, etc and they have not worked. I even resorted to going to my OBGYN who told me there was nothing wrong with me and to dump him and get counseling because that is abusive. I am really distraught and my self esteem is shot. He says that I feel like sloppy seconds and he does not trust me. Are there any suggestions. Please help me...this is ruining my relationshi
View related questions:
self esteem, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (15 December 2009):
 I have second thought on the question. Your boy friend may not sound as ill as describe by many,[includes me], but sure he is very poor observer, very poor sensually, unable to think logically. What is needed in sex is not automatically clear to many. Vaginal penetration cannot give proper pressure to male sex organ as needed by the mind. Such sexual pressure is required to give from out side and also required to be responded from within. This is not possible in vaginal penetration. It is only possible in 'foreplay'. Hand and together sucking, can create pressure. Hand from out side and sucking can from inside. Such pre-calculated 'foreplay' can sustain the hardness in male-sex organ, as a result 'wave of spiritual pleasure' became clear to the mind. See, sex is largely 'mental play', where as body give only expression.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (3 December 2009):
I have my personal observation about such mentality, is all negative; they do not want and respect sex and even love...be careful for such mentality who ever may possess. Such mentality is killing personality, will never give life or pleasure of life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Is he around your age? That's when the penis starts to shrink. I swear.
http://men.webmd.com/features/life-cycle-of-a-penis
I'd say the problem lies with him. And your OBGYN is correct, this is an abusive thing he's done to you, you say you're distraught and your self-esteem is shot? That's what this guy was going for, you on the mat, beaten down so he can push you around.
I would say dump him STAT.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. I did not expect to get so many so fast. I like the sexually immature comment...you have a point there. No one has EVER complained before him. I feel a little better knowing that there are guys out there who feel this is crap as well. Thank you so much for all of your input.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 December 2009):
For God's sake yes, dump him!!! He's an ass.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 December 2009):
I also suggest you dump him. Of course nothing is working, cause you're not loose! Suggest to him that maybe his penis is shrinking, the jerk!
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Why aren't you listening to your OBGYN?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): Well I'm not so sure you have much of a relationship to speak of. You start having sex and he just jumps to telling you how inadequate you are, basically harassing you, if thats not too much of an understatement, so much so that you start making changes to your lifestyle to appease him? Clearly he's abusive and you need to leave him and be far enough apart that you wont ever be influenced by him again.
And I think I should mention that excessive and obsessive kegels aren't exactly healthy. Doing that will just tire your muscles out. So please, cool it on that. I'm sure you body is perfectly fine the way it is.
...............................
A
female
reader, bolligcheryl +, writes (2 December 2009):
your obgyn is a professional. and they are right. nothing is wrong with you. it is abusive. its a way to keep you with them. they put you down and make you feel like nobody will want you to keep you close. this relationship wont get better. im sorry you have feelings because it wont be easy saying goodbye. but really you should. it will only worsen till you have no selfesteem left. get some therapy and remember he is selfish and needy. thats all abusive men are. abuse isnt just hitting. get help. Cheryl
...............................
|
