A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I have a rather annoying habit of destroying practically anything good in my life because I question and analyse everything. For example, I rejected my last girlfriend because I had a hard time figuring out how I felt about her and came to the conclusion that if I was having such a hard time I must not love her. Now I blooming well want to marry her!I think I fear taking opportunities, to the extent that I can convince myself that there isn't an opportunity at all until I can be reasonably sure I've missed it. This extends to my career, home, friends, family...you name it. I've had so many gifts that many people don't have - a fabulous education, all the love and support anyone could want from my family and great friends, but I have missed so many opportunities, rweally through lack of confidence, self-acceptance and knowing how I feel. I often come across as not knowing what I want, being confused, shy, depressed or even aloof.Can anyone suggest ways to move out of this heartbreaking "rut" and keep my life moving forward?Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks I care, eyeswideopen, anonymous and Tellulah. I care, I really appreciated your post - it's encouraged me to lighten up a lot! In fact I'm arranging to meet a new contact to discuss a potential new career direction and I've agreed to be set up with a friend of a friend on a blind date - yes, they hardly ever work, but so what? It's a drink and a chat and hopefully something learned at the very least. Anonymous, I'll see if I can get an excerpt of that book - I think it would be reassuring to understand there is a female perspective on what I've experienced and could help me feel closer to women.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Yes I guess it was a bit stupid!. But the only person that can help you! is you!.
There is nothing wrong with your life, only the fact that you over analise everything. I wonder have you ever watched that film with Ben Stiller "Along came polly". Its very amusing and it could point out a few things to you.
XX Sorry for the crap posting
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): I'm female but I've just read a book called 'Women who think too much'. To be honest it can apply to men and women. It describes the way we self-sabotage and how unhelpful it is and practical ways to change. Just a thought.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTellulah, that's perhaps the most helpful answer anyone could give. We are all responsible for our own experience. So thank you.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 There are all kinds of techniques on how to build one's self-esteem and self-confidence, google it and read up on the subject. You'll find a method that works for you I'm sure. You could get some guidance from a counselor if you want to go that route. There's help out there, go get it. Just making that decision will bolster your self-esteem.
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A
female
reader, I care  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Stop analizing everything start taking chances and yes your going to make some mistakes but that's what makes you grow and learn. It's like how the old saying goes Nothing ventured is nothing gained. try not to look at things so much and just go out there and enjoy the moments for what they are and quit worring about what's next. as as for your confidence level you should be happy with who you are and who cares what people think as long as you like you.Quit being depressed over passed missed oportunities cus while your doing that your missing out on more so start now and go out and enjoy your life people will like you for who you are. You sound like a great person to me best of luck and I hope this advice helps.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (8 April 2008):
No not really?
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