A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my husband left me before christmas,he stays in touch with family,but wont see me ,although he phones almost everyday.i would love to sort things out with him as i still love him,i dont know what to do should i tell him to leave me alone?is he just using me as a crutch til he gets over me?or does he still feel the same as me,and is scared that if he sees me all those feelings will come flooding back?im so confused as to know what to do,please help.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Hi,
Dont send anything nasty that you might regret. Just let him know that you need time alone to think about things. Ask him not to call you with any silly problems, as you have your own to deal with.
You really should be proud of yourself, you sound like you are taking it pretty well. Even if you feel bad, your not letting it get the better of you.
Honey it takes time not to hurt, but you will reach a point when you will be brave enough to say
"Thats it enough is enough"
Take care XX If you need to talk there are some excellent people on this site.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhis reason for leaving was because,he said he didnt know who he was anymore and he wanted to be on his own,he asks if there is any mail for him ,even though ive asked him to get it redirected.he also phones to stell me the most random things such as,hes ill or he,s had his phone stolen.i know i should tell him to stop but i just cant bring myself to.if i suggest meeting he changes the subject or dosent answer my text.i just want to speak to him and find out once and for all what he wants.do u think i should write him a letter?ive even written text messages on my phone telling him to get lost,but im afraid to send them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): Why did he leave in the first place?
I think that is the issue here, did something happen. If he just decided to leave for no reason other than being fed up or something maybe time apart will help you both to come to terms with what you want.
However if there is more too it than that then I really don't know. That would be down to how he feels about you after that.
However you have been through an ordeal breaking up is hard especially when it is one sided and not on your terms, I think that it is important to get a little space from things and spend some time working out domestic affairs like your roof over your head and getting your stability sorted and see what happens, think life structure, this will see you through in the short term and then maybe when dust settles see how things are looking. My only advice is give it some time.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (8 April 2008):
Hi,
I know this is hard. But speaking as someone that this also happened to, and at the same time of year (mine was christmas day though). Tell him to leave you alone, to get your act together, and decide what YOU want.
Dont contact him, and get on with your life. Be prepared that he may not want to come back, and if he contacts you tell him nicely that you cant talk to him until your ready.
I found that the more I tried to talk the worse things seem to get. And the longer I held on to conversations, I would end up begging or crying.
I know its playing a game, and that the odd's are stacked against you. But if he does want to come back it should be on your terms and it should be because he loves you and is sorry.
Whats the point of being with a man that doesnt want you. You are worth so much more XXX Good luck
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