A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Two years ago my 15 year old sister became pregnant with her daughter. Things really did not go well at first, she had trouble dealing with a newborn and was reluctant to give up her social life leaving my mother and myself no choise but to step in for the sake of my niece. My sister decided to go and live with her boyfriends family who are very well off because they offered them money and complete financial support, resulting in both of them lazing about the house having everything handed to them on a plate. Im now 7months pregnant with my first baby and my sister confided in me the other day that the fact that im pregnant has made her really broody and she has come off contraception!!! How irresposible! I really could have screamed. I cant believe that she is doing this to herself and everyone and i really dont know what to say to her! There isnt anything i can do, she is 17 and not going to listen to anybody but i just want her to be ok. Should i advise her, talk to out family or just let her make her own mistakes?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): Tell her that ALL family assistance of any kind will stop, for both kids, if she gets herself pregnant again. When she gets pregnant anyway, follow through on that threat.
Simple as that.
A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (3 November 2012):
I think your parents need to contact the other greandparents and agree that she take more responsibility for HER child, before she has another
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (2 November 2012):
 Whether it is a good thing or not, I think you know she will be fine ... she will have the support, both financial and otherwise ... so actually (and I say this as a sister, so knowing how things feel!), it is just really that she is annoyingly able to do whatever she wants, and seeming not have to take much in the way of responsibility. It is a fact that whenever anyone gets pregnant, all the women around her also want to be pregnant, but it is very annoying when now is your 'turn', and your sister wants to be pregnant as well.
I'm afraid you just have to let her get on with it, and focus on your own baby, and know that yes, she is doing it because she doesn't want you to be the only one with a baby, but you can't change that, so just try to ignore it. Sorry : (
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): I im the op. I dont think i made it completely clear we did have to step in when she lived with us because she would just sit there and ignore the baby or play dumb and pretend she didnt know what to do, to an extent that could be true being only 15 at the time but she also made no effort, thats when her boyfriends parents stepped in and said ' hey come live with us we will give u money so u dont have to sign onto the dole. Obviously they thought they were helping but i think it was probably the worst idea possible. My niece does live with my sister, we do babysit for her quite often though and i suspect that her boyfriends parents do even more so. She will just run off 'out to play' and doesnt seem to care that her little one is being passed from pillar to post. I recieved a call the other night from my friend saying that my sis had left the baby with her younger sister who is only just 13, my sister was claiming to be too stupid to understand Why you shouldnt leave a child looking after a baby for that lenght of time, it wasnt like she had popped down the shop, she had been out for six hours, my niece was crying and the babysitter couldnt handle it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): Someone needs to try and talk her out of this, and if they can't, they need to make her realise that if she does get herself pregnant again that she won't be handing the kid over to your mum to bring up while she goes and has a social life.
The thing with the majority of teens these days is that they half think things and then make a decision, and realise once its too late that there was other things they should have thought about and considered beforehand.
Who looks after her child now by the way? I hope your mum isn't bringing up your sisters first child while she runs about doing stupid things and talking nonsense about wanting another child she can't look after :/
If all else fails there's the Jeremy Kyle show (lol)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 November 2012):
 I agree with Jonas, unluckily the mistake has alreday been done when you and your mother generously stepped in with the first baby. If you had flatly refused to even change one single diaper or babysit one single night... she might have been reluctant all she wanted, but she would have been forced to grow up and face her parental responsibilities full time. It's likely that she would have seen how hard it is ... and now probably she would not be so anxious to repeat the experience right away.
Unluckily, other than telling your opinion, what can you do ? Lucky thing, she is off your hands now, and if the other sets of parents is willing to help them and support them while they just breed, and laze around the house , thereby enabling this young couple's irresponsibility- at least it's a choice that won't punish you and your mother directly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): I don't know if the father of the baby is the her current boyfriend 's but I would drop the kid off over to the place where she is staying now. She us doing this because she isn't taking responsibility for her child. If she was doing all the work she would be more reluctant to go out and do it again. She thinks it's cool have another child because she hadn't had any change in her life due to you and your mom taking on the role of parents. So she is expecting the same behavior with the second one. There have to be some tough love. Take the baby over where she is staying and tell her no more! She is going to take care of her own child from now on! When she tries to bring the baby over there tell her your busy and do whatever it is you are trying to do with your baby like everybody else. Let me put it to you this way. Are prepared to raise your niece , your child, and then another baby? Are you really ready for that huge responsibility? The two of you are going to have to stop enabling her and make her learn what being a parent really is! Best of luck to you!
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