A
female
age
36-40,
*ls022
writes:Hi everyone. I don't really know if anyone will be able to help me but I thought it was worth a try.I wrote in a few days ago about feeling really stressed, one of the reasons being that my Grandma is really ill. Well, over the last few days she's taken a turn for the worse and we were told there was nothing more they could do for her.They told us on Sunday that she only had a couple of hours at most, and they were going to stop feeding her and giving her water but still give her meds to keep her comfortable until the time came.So myself and the rest of my family have been by her side every day since, and she's still powering through. She's getting thinner, but still seems as strong as she did that first day and is still responding when we speak to her (nodding and shaking her head - the same way she has for a while now).The problem is, although the doctors told us the damage to her kidneys and heart was too much to overcome, I can't stop myself from thinking that she's proved them wrong so far with how long she's held on, so what if they underestimated her ability to recover too? What if they've stopped feeding and watering her when she wasn't ready to go? The nurse told us to give her permission to go, and when my Dad told her to go if she was ready she shook her head.I know how it sounds but I can't help but feel like we've not done as much as we could have for her, and what if she's upset that we've just let them do it? I guess I just want some reassurance that we've not let her down because that's what I feel like we've done. This has all come about so quickly too which maybe doesn't help, as I just can't believe she's gone from strong to dying within 6 weeks. I'm going to miss her so much.
View related questions:
grandmother Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): Did she shook her head yes or no? If no, then they should still feed her and give her water.
Was she on a tube? I f not how can they stop her food intake and water, I just don't understand.
She is totally conscious, I think the feeding should continue. Franklyi never heard of something like that when a person is totally conscious and she is not given food or drinks.
What is the difference then between uthinazia and this?
I don't know how old your grandma is but judging by your age she sould be around 80. Though many people are just fine and healthy and enjoy their lives, but at this age it's a life long lived and if a person gets some serious issues, the chances are slim to recover.
I would question though this non feeding thing if I were you, because for me it doesn't sound humane to withdraw food from a totally conscious person.
A
female
reader, Notnormallifebillie +, writes (11 March 2015):
hi .ive been in your shoes last year my grandma two years ago my grandma was diagnosed with cancer she was strong and she had help to get her through it . she lived with me and my family while she was dying . at the end of 2013 she got worse she was in hospital for 3 months and they thought she was going to die but she never she held on she came home and lasted for another 2 months and then turned for the worse i moved in with my sister because my parents were too worried that if she died while i was there it might of effected me. i lived there for a month untill i couldnt take it no more so i moved back home and in January last year my grandma took a turn for the worse again she was holding on my mum and dad told her it was ok to let go but she never did she held on the doctors told us she had 48 hours to live on the 8th of January she held on . on 9th of January she passed away and it was the day before my birthday . so i know how you feel its like a waiting game thaat you never want to happen but if you have the right support for it youll get through it like i did, you need to be brave and i promise you will get through it all .
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 March 2015):
 Did she have a good life before she fell ill? If the answer is yes, I would look back on her GOOD life and celebrate that.
I understand that you WANT her to be around for as long as she can (and as long as she wants) - but sometimes out bodies don't give us THAT option. Her organs are failing. Kidneys are just the first to go.
Would I hate to turn off life support for someone I love? ABSOLUTELY.
Go sit with her, read to her, talk to her, sing to her. Let her know that YOU LOVE her and will be there for her when she leaves.
My grandmother got an aggressive type of Alzheimer at the age of 85 she wen from doing fine on her own, to not being able to do anything (almost overnight)- She spend her last year in the hospital not knowing anyone around her till my dad and uncle decided to move her to her home with 24 hour nurses. She died in her own house, her own bed with family around her, and even if she didn't recognize anyone, she knew she was loved till the last.
I would TRUST the doctors to know what they are doing.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2015): I am so sorry for your impending loss.
Hindsight is 20/20, and no one can ever win the "woulda/coulda/shoulda" game. I don't believe from the information you have given us that you have not done enough for your grandmother. It sounds like she has a lot of love and support from her family in these hard times. She may physically feel better being off all the extra machines, which would make her seem stronger for a short time.
I don't believe she is upset at all with you either. She knows you all love her and are spending all the time you can with her while you can. That is the most important thing you all can do.
Just know that you are not alone, and that death is a part (hard part) of life. Keep doing what you are doing for your grandmother. She loves you for it too.
Thoughts are with you and your family.
...............................
|
