A
female
age
30-35,
*skQ
writes:My girlfriend is nothing but a liar and i resent her for it.I recently noticed she had made our relationship status on Facebook hidden, to which i asked her why and for whose benefit, she became agressive with me because she knows she got caught, i already know its so the guy in her class can't see it because she did the same last year and it caused problems between us, her excuse is so an ex of hers whos not even on her Facebook cant find me and call me names. After that she said she doesnt want to speak to me for days, she then just went onto her hidden account and spoke to her ex that day/night.At this point i was really tired with her behaviour so i went into her Facebook (wrong to do i know), i find messages to friends/exs telling them how awful i am, that she does everything for me, at one point she said i verbally abuse my own mother who is in her 50's. She continues to call me lazy and implys i do nothing in our relationship which is nothing but a joke. I have planned so many nights out for us, i buy the stuff we need and shes a no show, she refuses to let me go to hers so that is why she comes here and basically she makes no effort, i only see her once every two weeks. I sent her a message and said everything i wanted to say, shes a liar etc but when she confronted me basically finished with me i took it back because for some unknown reason im holding on to her? Why.I looked in her messages again this morning, she told her friend she can't appreciate me because i do nothing for her, she laughed at me and told her she has no idea what im talking about. Im talking about the fact she goes behind my back and talks to her ex, she is cruel and heartless, nothing but a liar. Why is she making out that im awful to be with? I actually ask her all the time if she would like to go away together, if i can see her, i tell her every day i love her, i started making a memory book for our anniversary but she told me she didnt want it.I dont understand.
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anniversary, facebook, her ex, liar Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 November 2013):
 Why are you holding on to her ? because, sir, you are a big wuss.
Ok, that's too aggressive, I take it back.
Let's rephrase it : I suspect that you have low self esteem, don't honour and appreciate yourself, feel that if you let go of this poot imitation of a girlfriend you won't find anyone better- or anyone else, period- and you'll have to end your days alone.
Which is ridicolous , of course, since ,as another poster mentions, there are 3.5 billions women in this world, that should give you some chance shouldn't it ?
But, even if you were SO terminally unlucky to never find another companion- well, better single than badly paired. You are very badly paired, - what do you get out of this " realtionship ", except frustration, humiliation and resentment ?
You don't need to " understand " to defend yourself from something bad coming your way. If you see a car pointing right at you full speed, you don't waste time wondering if maybe the driver is mentally ill or is under the influence of drugs or mistook you for his worst enemy- you just JUMP on the side and get the hell out of the way as fast as you can. It's called self preservation instinct.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (10 November 2013):
She's nuts. That's all you need to understand. Wait, that's not everything: the only reason you're with her is because you're too insecure to leave.
You just need to accept the fact that you're with a horrible person and that she's never going to change.
She's probably cheating on you. You never see her. She humiliates and mocks you. You are miserable. She's a chronic liar. And I'm sure there's much more that isnt mentioned.
So. Using that brain in your head, does it make sense to stay with this person when there are 3.5 billion other women in the world? Is she "the one"?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2013): I think you should just end things with her. She is toxic, and not a very good friend...let along girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2013): Why are you with her again?
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