A
male
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*az
writes:I met this girl from a dating site a couple of months ago now, I was the first guy she dated and we got on so well that we started seeing each other straight away. We dated for only just over a month, but everything was perfect, even spent a weekend together in leeds with friends. A few weeks ago I texted her asking if she was gunna change her 'relationship stautus' on facebook which I had done for her a while back. She replied saying that none of her friends do, and that she doesnt feel like she needs to advertise it. I didnt mind though and said its ok. The next day she wanted to brake up and said she wasnt ready for a relationship with me although we had already been saying we were BF and GF. The next day I arranged to meet her for a drink and a chat. It was strange because when I was with her we still kissed and cuddled even though she was in major doubt. When i was asking what the reasons where she did mention about seeing her ex's mates out and about (he lives round the corner from her) but before she could say anything more I asked 'Do you still have feelings for her ex' She immedietly replied 'No no, not at all, I don't fancy him at all anymore'. She was just saying she it was abit soon for things like that. Just to clarify she broke up with her ex of 2 years as she fell out of love with him and within a month met me. She did even say maybe in a ouple of months we might get back together and that if we had met in 6, it would have been perfect. We basically left with a long kiss and a cuddle and she said she still wants to see me and stuff. She did say she'd never fancied anyone as much as me and almost cried when we were saying bye to eachother.That night I went out into kingston, knowing she was going there but told her where I would be so we didnt bump into eachother. 20 mins later shes rung and txted me asking me to come down. I told her before i'd give her space so I didnt reply. Then she came into the pub with her friends kissing and cuddling me saying 'I do want to carry on seeing you, but just take it slowly and not label things. I agreed and she went off somewhere else, but I did not follow as I was with my mate. The next day I tried ringing, no answer. She texted apologising for last night and that she doesnt want a relationship and wants to be on her own. Although annoyed I said its ok and left thingsA day or two later she put a pic of her with her ex bf and friends on her profile and it really upset me so I emailed her saying it did and that it was unthoughtful of her, especially considering the fact that she once asked me to delete some pics off my profile of me with some girls who were friends, which she later said she regretted asking. Anyways she emailed back 'saying how she liked the pic, and that it wasnt just of her and her ex and then started moaning at me about messaging a friend of mine that she was always abit jelous of and said I been flirting anyway, she noticed I deleted my convo with my mate before emailing her. I managed to get her on the phone to talk after texts from her saying 'I don't care anymore blah blah' and we talked it over and said we'd be friends and it was all ok. Since then we agreed to not be friends only on facebook, but strangely she had after deleted her own account.. A few days later she'd texting me asking how I was and we were talking for a week or so on and off through txt on on the phone. Then on one message just over a week ago I replied to one of hers in alittle bit of a flirty way (basically to cheer her up as she was down about being stuck in doors from injuring her back). She texted back later that night saying 'I dont want to lead you on, but she was thinking that she isnt over her ex yet and it was hard for her to believe, but she keeps seeing things that remind her of him ect. I txt'd back saying 'Maybe you should talk to him, you might be able to get back together? but I dont think we should talk to eachother for a while, I think its for the best. She didnt reply, until I texted again saying that I hope she was gunna get well soon (She'd fallen down the stairs abouts a week or so prior and injured her back and had been off work) and that I would really miss her. She replied saying 'Me too x' I left it just over a week then I texted just to ask how her back was and if she was ok and I have had no reply. I tried ringing that night and left a voicemail to just ask if shes ok and that I knew what I said before about not talking to one another for abit, but I was just worried about her and she said she reckoned she might have permentally damaged her back before. I said in the voice mail to either ring me or at least txt me to let me know she's ok, but its been a few days now and nothing.I don't know what to do, I miss talking to her and she knows i'd rather be friends with her than nothing at all. It was my decision that we should'nt speak for abit. So I don't understand why she hasnt at least txt'd back to let me know that her backs ok or not. I just want to know what she is thinking and how she feels. She had reactivated her facebook account temporarily after I said we shouldnt speak, but has deactivated her account again. I keep thinking this might have somthing to do with her getting over her ex or somthing as they are still friends on eachthers accounts. I don't know, but I just need some advice to see if anyone knows whats going on with her and to whether I should try and txt her again this weekend or leave her be for abit?
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male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (6 June 2010):
The silence is a sign she does not wish to communicate. I'm trying to be friends with an ex I still love and it hurts like hell.
Talk to her in person, see what's what and make a decision from there. If you are not going to get back together than a clean break is the brat option, although it is very hard to do.
Imagine how you will feel being friends if she starts seeing someone else! It's best to break clean and not know. I should follow my own advice!!
Good luck
A
male
reader, gaz +, writes (3 June 2010):
gaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell im not sure what to do. It was me that texted her saying' Maybe we shouldnt talk to each other for a while' so it was my decision, but before then we were friends texting and ringing eachother. Since saying we shouldnt speak, I did leave a voicemail just over a week later saying 'I hope your ok and that her back is getting better' but she did not reply. Why is this?, if it was my decision for us to not talk for abit? I could understand if it was her saying it to me, but it wasn't. I just want to know whether or not we are still friends is all. Should I text her and ask or wait abit. My b-day is at the end of the month so I was thinking to maybe leave it nearer to then, what does anyone reckon? I just can't stop thinking about things :o( Please help!
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A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (26 May 2010):
I know how you feel. You need to stop torturing yourself and just give up on contacting this girl unless she contacts you first.
It will hurt, but the pain goes in time.
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