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My friend scares me, and I want to rid her from me!

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

I have a friend who flirts outrageously with my partner and is always telling me how much men fancy her. Everyone from the estate agent (not surprising as she has nude pictures of herself in her bedroom!)to her surgeon. She likes telling me how my ex partners were flirty with her as well although I never noticed it. I find her very attention-seeking.

Flirting with my man includes touching his arm all the time, bending from the waist in front of his face (she usually wears skin-tight vamp clothes) whenever possible and asking him things like, "tell me, how often do YOU think about sex Bob? During the same conversation she told him that when her ENT surgeon examined her throat with a camera, it looked just like her vagina! This behaviour is contstant.

I have plenty of beautiful friends and my partner gives them big hugs because he likes them as much as I do. I am pleased that he is warm with them and I know he loves me very much, so I don't think I am a jealous type.

The last straw was when she finished with her boyfriend and she called me to say she was miscarrying. She is mid forties, so I felt sorry for her at first. I asked how she knew and she said she just did. I suggested that she do a test to be sure that she had been and was not greiving over a normal period - they can be a bit different in your mid fotries, heavier etc.

She rang back within minutes and said it was, so I was sorry. There was a niggling doubt. I know for a fact that her partner had not agreed to try for a baby and how come she had tests at home then? Then she drove a few hundred miles next day to see her Mum who lives near me, wearing skin-tight black and stilletto boots. Does anyone else think this odd or am I being mean? I know that having a miscarriage is a very unpleasant experience, painful and heavy, not ideal for travel.

I may be wrong about some aspects of this but I feel there is something wrong and damaged here and she is trying to see me way too much. I feel on an intuitive level that she would like to have some kind of influence over my life and it does not feel that it would be good for me. She scares me and I want rid of her, so what should I do?

View related questions: flirt, jealous, my ex, nude pictures, period, vagina

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A female reader, Keria United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2007):

You need to just tell you you are not really interested in being her friend. Dump her.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (25 April 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntMid-forties, huh? She behaves more like mid-teens. I'd stay as far away from her as I can. You don't need that kind of nonsense.

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A male reader, lupa-k United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2007):

As you yourself said, 'the last straw was when'. The simple fact is that pursuing this friendship is not a productive avenue for you to chart, and you seem to have made this decision for yourself already, and you need to trust that intuition.

As for how to do it, just cut her out of your life - I'm guessing if she's been like that your husband already feels a bit intimidated by her and will understand your decision, and I'm sure that you can call on better friends than this to fulfil that side of your life.

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A female reader, accused United States +, writes (25 April 2007):

accused agony auntKICK THIS WOMAN TO THE CURB! With friends like this who needs enemies? To be honest with you, I feel that you are a HELL of a good woman, cause I would have caught a charge the first time she ever asked my man anything about sex or any other sexual questions! and I know for a fact that you don't travel 2hrs the VERY next day after a miscarriage! This woman sounds like T R O U B L E ! and to have preg test in your home like that... what is she living a "fatal attraction movie"???? Seriously You and your man are better off without her! and if she asks you why you are not hanging around or whatever you two did... BE HONEST! and tell her she's not the kind of friend you want in your life..... Best of luck..... GET THIS WOMAN OUT OF YOUR LIFE (winking)...... Keep me posted

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