A
female
age
41-50,
*rowneyez1900
writes:I have a crazy situation. If you read my back questions. I met a guy and we were crazy for each other. Spent all I time together and everything. I am still in love with him. One day he decided he needed some alone time. So he asked me said he wasn't breaking up he was just going through a lot(which I know he was) so I believed it.(By going through a lot I mean he had just moved out and was starting from scratch. At the time sleeping on someones couch and looking for a place. Have trouble finding one, money issues. He stated he doesn't feel like he could be the man I needed right now and he just needed some alone time.) That was about 5 weeks ago. HE does not text or check on me and when I do check on him his answer are very cold. Sometimes he does not even answer. Here is the problem I have found out I'm pregnant by him. He already has 3 kids and an ex-wife(recent). I told him we really needed to talk he said sure. Said he believed that we needed to be honest and communicate. We made plans Sat. to meet last night at my apt around 9. He did not show, or call. I have the weirdest feeling that he and his ex have got back together or something of that nature. Should I keep trying to tell him? I'm so frustrated. What I need to tell him is important and I cant even reach him and he hasn't called? What do I do , Ive have put myself in a horrible position here. I'm so disappointed and hurt cause I still love him. But, at this time I just need to tell him so he knows. What he decides it up to him.
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ex-wife, got back together, hasn't called, his ex, money, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Well, you are both in that position. He is partially and legally accountable for the child you created.
No more blame. Now you need to make good decisions for your baby.
By the way, I was a child created in similiar circumstances. My mother chose to never tell my biological Father I existed. He was never give the choice or the obligation. I think he should have at least KNOWN.
Good luck:)
A
female
reader, browneyez1900 +, writes (10 August 2011):
browneyez1900 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@RedAthena...
You are so right! He said the numerous times. The words now ring in my ears. I AM IN TRANSITION. Well here I am in this position anyway. :(. Life goes on.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 August 2011):
Not sure how you can say there were not signs about this guy.
He was 3 mos out of his marriage? 12 mere weeks...90 days!
Of course he was happy! It was probably the happiest he has been, because it was a welcome change to his ex. He was having a good time.
But, he was also in transition. Anyone in a major life transition and starting a new relationship is just a minefield of problems.
No @ eyeswideopen. But when we met he stated he shouldn't even be talking to me as he was just 3mths out of it. But we dated anyway and sparks flew. I mean no signs nothing! Still spending 6 days out of the week together, happy smiling. Then BANG! Im was so blindsided. I used to say to other woman that there were signs you just missed them. I promise you all I had none. ITs like he just cut all of his feelings off. No sweet text, or poems no calling. Nothing, nada!
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A
female
reader, browneyez1900 +, writes (8 August 2011):
browneyez1900 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo @ eyeswideopen. But when we met he stated he shouldn't even be talking to me as he was just 3mths out of it. But we dated anyway and sparks flew. I mean no signs nothing! Still spending 6 days out of the week together, happy smiling. Then BANG! Im was so blindsided. I used to say to other woman that there were signs you just missed them. I promise you all I had none. ITs like he just cut all of his feelings off. No sweet text, or poems no calling. Nothing, nada!
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (8 August 2011):
Do you have an address you can mail a letter to?
I would do it registered mail and keep in simple.
State that you have been trying to contact him and since he chose not to meet you at your pre-arranged time, that you had to resort to notifying him this way.
State that you are pregnant and that he is the Father. Offer DNA confirmation.
If you decide to claim child support, you now have documentation (from the registered letter) that you attempted to contact him several times and notified him of the pregnancy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): If he didnt feel like the man you needed cos of his current issues then this pregnancy is gonna send him almost crazy.Plus 5 weeks is a long silence.
Yes he has a certain responsibility toward the baby you are having but I don't think it'll make him come back, more like scare him off even more from what you've said
But yes he needs to know - if he won't meet or pick up your calls - leave him a voice message,text or write a letter, not saying that you want to meet, but the fact your pregnant.He's left you no choice.
Then wait.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (8 August 2011):
 If he won't contact you or anything, get his address and mail him a letter telling him the news. It may not be the best way, but it will certainly get his attention and a very good reason to come in contact with you again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): Whatever his situation is, you still need to tell him. Whatever happens its his child too. You can't give up, he needs to know. And if he finds out a few years from now, he could be very angry. You have a few options.
Option 1:
Are you in touch with any of his friends or family? Tell them your pregnant (or not. It could go either way) but tell them not to tell him that your pregnant (it should come from you) and that he needs to talk to you very much. If he still refuses, you could ask them to set up a gathering or something where you could talk. He might be mad that it was too public, but you tried to talk to him.
Option 2:
If option 1 doesn't apply, you could attempt to get him to come over again. Tell him its very important. Tell him he needs to hear this. Tell him you suspect he's back with his ex, and thats okay, you just need to talk.
Option 3:
If he has evaded you all these times it will have to come to this. You could either call (he might not pick up) or text. If you text, send him first a text along the lines of "i need to tell you something important but you won't talk to me. I'm going to have to tell you with a text" after he responds (you want to be sure he has his phone) you say "im pregnant...and its yours" and just take it from there.
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 August 2011):
 Were involved with him before his marriage ended?
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