A
female
age
41-50,
*lanket
writes:I am almost a yr out of my divorce. My ex used me and mentally and physically abused me. I was playing all bills and basically holding down the kids, house, and money. He was so lazy that I just got fed up. Toward the end of us going through divorce, he lied on me, tried to take my kids from me, and get me fired from my job. I am a very wealthy person with many homes and he even tried to take them. He wanted spousal support and all my investments. Well needless to say, nothing worked out for him. What really hurted me was when he cheated on me with his baby mother during our marriage and was planning to be with her. I left the home I shared with him and he was planning to move her in. I have moved on and yes it has been almost a year. I have found a great man who is very stable financially more stable than me. We are talking things slow but talk about the future. Well, my ex found out and started calling me and questioning our son who he never calls. I am confused because he went back to his baby mother and they are expecting. What I don't get is that he tried to tear me down but now seems to take interest in my new life. I'm not going to lie, I'm still hurt but really sore now cause of how he went back to a women who is a gutter rat, no job, rides the system, and has no morals....his baby mother. I felt like he got what he wanted so why is he inquiring about me. I want to not be bothered but I am. I'm trying to forgive but I'm to hurt. Any advice?
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cheated on me, divorce, money, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 January 2014):
 I agree FULLY with Auntie EM.
YOU got LUCKY and said no more. You walked away from a man who didn't treat you right, who lied and cheated - SHE(the baby-mama) can have him! It's not like he is some great prize....
He is hoping to WRECK your happiness, because HE ISN'T happy. He want to get back to having a wealthy wife and a mistress. Not living with the "mistress" and have no money.
If he (the ex) calls and inquire about you, tell him it's none of his business or deflect the question. I would make ANY and ALL conversations about your shared children.
Make ANY and ALL phone conversations short and to the point. You do NOT have to be his "friend" and listen to him. Nor do you have to share an OUNCE of your life as it is now.
Look forward to the here and now, and the future, not over your shoulder to a bad marriage.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (27 January 2014):
 Why are you hurt girl??? You won the jackpot!!
You got out of an unhappy marriage with your finances intact and now have met a great guy who you deserve...so why so hurt?...
Cos the ex cheated?...that's what low lifes do, they cheat and lose everything and end up with 'gutter folk' like themselves...'water will always run to water' that's just nature.
Maybe him cheating on you has left you with a 'hole of self doubt'? maybe you think this diminishes you somewhat as a person?...well it's not you that has a problem, it's him and his crappy behaviour and he's going to continue to do that for the rest of his life. It's just a shame that other women are going to get hurt by him, but ultimately it's him who has the 'curse' NOT YOU!!
Why is he hanging round and paying attention? My brutal answer is MONEY! Maybe he thinks if he can keep a finger in the pie, he can have access to some of your money.
Why does he still think he can have access?...because he knows you are HURT and a hurt woman is a vulnerable woman who can be easily manipulated!! He's keeping a good eye on that new relationship of yours because he wants to know how serious it is because it might affect his potential to manipulate you in the future!
We all think this stuff means 'he still loves me' but it don't. He might even say the words 'I still love you hunny'...but you know he really don't and he's just hanging his sorry arse in there for the 'potential monetary pay out'
In your head, you got no intention of allowing him to use you again, but you are hanging onto that hurt and he absolutely knows 100% that that can be exploited in the future.
If your new relationship works out, to him, it's a threat that his 'opportunity' might be cut off, so he's in your face making those 'inquires'
See it for what it is: Forget him and his stupid girlfriend, be one step ahead at all times and let that hurt go.
A happy life awaits you...are you seriously going to let him wreck it?
Think with your head NOT your heart!!
Good luck to you and keep an eye on the ball xxx
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