A
female
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*ackie69
writes:Don't know what to believe anymore.I have written about the problems i have had with my ex-boyfriend on here in the past.He is acting very weird towards me now.He looks terrible and unhappy. lost weight and generally looks like crap.Went to a party on friday that he was at 2 and previously before he had said he wanted to remain friends. but he never acknowledged me at the party just kept drinking and got drunk and stood on his own watching the dancefloor all night. I saw he peeping at me now and again and people we knoe kept asking me why we werent together anymore!?So after the party at got home and decided to text him and said "U could of least have spoken to me tonight"Which i realy had no meaningfull reply.then 10 minutes later i get a totally random text about work and it ended up gettin onto harmless sexual banter and teasing. but he took it a step to far. i asked to see him on sunday(today) and to talk about what had happened with us and have closure.He then went funny and started asking crude questions like do u want to ride me? suck me? just general horrible crude drunk talk! So i said dont talk to me like that i dont like it, gdngt u r drunk!"Then the next morning i get a text saying sorry for what text, just read what i sent"So i said" thank u""shall we still meet up tongt and talk?" he said "what for?"jsut about us! i said.and then he said "what about us? u said last night that i was crude sending u those sexual txts"i said" dont take it like sex with u was dirty or anything just that didnt like u talking to me like that"then he wanted to know if i thought of how we had sex, was he gd, did i enjoy it? and loads of rude stuffSo i reassured him he was good.he said sex with me was the best and he still thinks about it loads and would love to. but he cant carry on with me and tell me he loves me when he doesnt know if he means it, and doing that would mean hed just done it to get sex and didnt want to do that to me"then he asked "Have u been with anyone else since we been apart?""I said no, i still love u"He said "Would it make a difference if i had?"I said yes i wouldnt be able to touch u again"then he said he hadnt had sex with anyone but there had been a random thing that happened. do u wanna know?" I said "ok"then he wrote out this 'story':-I was driving through a field of gorse bushes in my land rover when i came across a girl with head phones on bathing topless and nearly ran her over in a clearing. We got to talking and she asked me where the best places to go on a saturday night are etc and then he says they 'somehow' got round to talk about sex and they got naked there and then more or less. but didnt have sex!" but added how she wasnt half me.So i said "pigs might fly"he said im serious, can u picture me naked with another woman?"i said "dont even go there" he said gd i aint told u none of the details then!"then i said "well she one hell of a slag then,y didnt u go 4 the whole hog if she were so fit in the gorse bushes!"!??!""then he got nasty"We would have but had not johnnys! We did everything else"and it goes on with me getting cross telling him hes hurt me and how could he do that and dont come near me again! that he must hate me. then he said "im single can do what i want. no chance we get back together now!" etc etcthen later i text "I dont believe uve had another girl. cus u aint like that"n he just text "leave me alone"i said " gdbye then"aint heard no more from him but everyone i tell says he sounds sick and is making up this story of another girl as it sounds so far fetched and disturbed.Is this all a fantasy of his he wanted me to say that that was ok and say that him with another woman turned me on?Does this all sound like some sick way to make me me jealous or to make me hate him? or do u all think its true?some one please comment back on this because i realy dont know what the hell is up with him!?
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drunk, get back together, jealous, my ex, teasing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (7 October 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question this is an update from me!I am still haviong him contact me and pester me. Texting me every now and again still telling me how he thinks of me and how we were. Gets eroused at the thought of me, couldnt hug me cus hed get a hardon etcetc. Why would he tell me that?Tells me im a wonderful person who deserves love etc. But when i try to move on and get on with things he'l text again telling me im georgeous and asking what im doing. he hangs around my house etc and comes into the village all the time in his vehicle.But.... when i let my guard down go with the flow say i feel the same and show i still love him. then he'll run away blind and say he just wants to be on his own and wants to be friends.I dont imagine the way he looks at me and how awkward he is around me when we are with other people in public!Can anyone make sense of what I am telling you?Please!! xxxxx
A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (12 July 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know now why he had to run off!!My mum interfered yesterday afternoon and rang my ex up and said that we had to meet up and talk that i was upset.He comes and meets me lastnight.We were so comfortable together again and talking like normal and laughing together and i told him i still loved him and that i wanted to be with him.He said he had to run off the other night because he fancied me sooo much he couldnt stand to be near me.So lastnight we in eachothers company for fewer than five minutes and hes hugging me and kissing me. He gets an erection from me just sitting by him!!!!!and i'm asking him why we arent togther and hes telling me again that its nothing ive done he just cant be in a relationship and just wants to be on his own.but then he conflicts this by saying he thinks about me everyday especially at night, cares about me and does still love me. and i am the best gf hes ever had, best looking, best body, best personality but he cant deal with a relationship and he cant lie to me and tell he totally loves me because he feels he would just be using me and doesnt want that.We got a bit heated and could well have had sex, but we both knew it wasnt the answer and he kept telling me how it would mess with our heads and he knew i loved him and couldnt do that to me.Said i could get anyone else and didnt understand why i hadnt. i told him cus i only wanted him.he said i'm the only girl he is sooo attracted to and hasnt been with anyone else.He wants us to remain friends but i know that everytime we meet up like this it will be the same we will kiss and cuddle and he'll want me. and i'm not prepeared to be unless we in a stable relationship.I told him as he was leaving to think about what id said and that i was their for a proper relationship still and if he desired and loved me so much still like i think he does then he should just come back to me and not torture himself like he is!He keeps drinking everynight i believe to forget me and gets into great drunken states. Why would he do this to himself?What does all of this mean? Can anyone make any sense of this? Has he just took advantage of the fact he knows i still love him? or is he genuine?
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (11 July 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe last time i saw him. He was sooo nervous and awkward around me that he had to run off like he was going to cry?
Why?
I have done nothing but show i'm here for him.
I suppose i have to let go now.
but it is soooo hard when I know he loved me so xx
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (9 July 2008):
 When you can tell they are not interested and this is demonstated by them not looking at you and by you recognizing disinterest in you as a person it is without fail time to cut them out of your life. My ex husband does this to me, he won't look at me or speak to me and exudes feelings of disinterest all the time. Sending a text is good as it released some tension in you and gave you an outlet for your emotions. Yout text was friendly and not rude or desperate in ay way. Now is the time to leave him alone. If he starts the texting again I would respond but with cool non-comittal answers so you are being friendly in return but not overly so. This chap has not behaved very nicely to you and has not shown much respect so if he wants you he is going to have to make all the running and build it back up. For the moment you have sent your text so leave it at that and start looking around to see who else is out there that takes your fancy and is worthy of you. Good luck
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (9 July 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had to work with him yesterday. I saw in him that he had little feeling left towards me. He was talking to me but with no feeling and could hardly look at me.
I can see now that i have to move on however hard it may be.
He knows the way i feel about him and it is all in his court now.
I have sent a goodbye text:-
"Seeing you yesterday made me feel sad.
I think i saw that you are moving on. I am hurting but i have to remember that you did love me but something changed.
I will always remember you when i hear the sugababes song about u now.
How you used to sing it to me. Lol.
The words mean alot.
Cya "
I hope that is a friendly goodbye which will make him think and feel something.
There is nothing more that i can do anymore.
I have only shown my love.
thank you all for your help and support xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): He's made up that story. It does sound like a fantasy. I think he is confused,reason he txts u like that. He either needs time or maybe to try and forget him is the best thing. Some men when they get to that point, they don't recover and we always hope that they can change but in the process it hurts us more. U don't deserve that at all. Go out there and have fun,with time u will feel better. Just take a break for urself.
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (7 July 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni also failed to add that this girl was by lucky chance a tourist who isnt around anymore!!
lol
he also said in end txt not his fault i cant except were over.
but... he the one who keeps conversations like these going on text!
What is he achieving by doing this?
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (7 July 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThere is more to this story if u wanna luk at preious questions i have posted u can c what has gone on in our relationship.
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A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (6 July 2008):
jackie69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your replies.
I'm sure you are both right to leave him alone and see if he comes out of the depression type of feeling i believe he has.
He has told me not to text him again. So dont think that i will. Wouldnt know what to put anyway. He probli will bury himself in work so that he doesnt have to think about things
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A
female
reader, KEY2URHEART32  +, writes (6 July 2008):
I think your guy is going through a crisis of his own and he does not know how to tell you what is really going on with him or he is just too embarrass to say. Either way it has nothing to do with him seeing another woman...and that story he told you about meeting another woman and getting naked...etc. is a crop of s***. It did not happen...this guy sounds like he still likes you but whatever is happening with him personally he can't come to terms to tell you so he's trying to make you jealous in hope to making you leave him so that he does not have the pressure of telling you what is actually going on. Remember when you saw him at the party he was looking like crap and was off to himself. This does not sound like a guy that is out there being socialable and trying to pickup on the next girl. May what you can do for the mean time is drop friendly text messages to him so that he still knows that you care...don't bring up the story that he told you it's not worth rehearsing..in the meantime keep yourself busy and occupied...give him his space...some people like to deal with crisis on their own...He will come around...and if he doesn't it wont be because you didn't demonstrate your love to him...it just mean that GOD has someone better for you. Stay strong and Stay Bless.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (6 July 2008):
I think it is all absolute rubbish. He is making it all up to make him look attractive and feel good about himself. I wouldn't have liked reading all that dirty stuff either but I don't think he liked you telling him off about sending it so he has made all this up to get back at you. I can almost guarantee he hasn't been with anyone else. He texted leave me alone because there is nothing else left to say on the lie and he is probably embarrassed. I think this conversation will die a death and I imagine he won't refer to it again the next time he speaks to you. Yes he wants to make you jealous and yes he still cares for you. I think he will be in touch again shortly and if you care for him just don't refer to it in any way moving on to more neutral subjects like work and friends etc. If you want to start going out with him again just be friendly and not too pushy or clingy but giving him the right signs so he feels able to ask you out again.
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