A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am in a bit of a dilemma, I was invited by a friend onto a dating site called Badoo. So I joined to see what it was as I had no idea, and I came across a profile for my borther's Fience (definitely her as it was her picture) stating that she is looking for a man and that she is single. My brother and her do not live together, but they have a 4 year old son together. Should I show my brother her profile on there, or just mind my own business. I am torn because I feel that whatever I do, I will end up being the bad guy in this, if I show him he might blame me for being the one to show him, but if I don't show him and he finds out that I knew (I'm not a good liar, especially to my family) he will be angry that I didn't tell him. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone, just an update, I showed my borther the profile his fiance had. He has broken up with her as a result, and they have parted as friends for the sake of their son. I appreciate everyone taking the time to give me advice and giving me the strength to do the right thing.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 My first thought is that it's old... can you verify the last time she logged on. My fiancee has a profile on OK cupid we just never took it down but he's not logged on the site since March!...
Secondly you may want to talk to HER first... and then based on how she reacts and responds consider your next move.... not sure you want to be the bearer of bad news to your brother... but if she knows you know and she may be outed perhaps if she is doing something wrong she will clean up her act...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou very much for your responses, I thiink I should show him. Th profile has her name on it as well with her current location, so i am pretty sure it is really her. I will show him the profile and he can sort it out with her. Thankyou once again for your time in responding to my question I appreciate it a lot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): you should tell him. if it's all a misunderstanding and there's nothing going on, then no harm will be done. If there is something going on, it's not your fault it's hers!! and furthermore if she was cheating on him and he eventually found out and then learned that you knew all along, that might cause some harm in your relationship to your brother.
if she is cheating on him, then it's already going on regardless of whether you tell him or not. it's not up to you to make choices on his behalf like whether it's better for him to know or not. if the information is there, he has a right to know about it and make choices on his own.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): Let him know with all sorts of disclaimers that are discussed here. Its your duty to think about the welfare of your kith and kin - whether its good or bad. But give all disclaimers and ask him to find out by himself more.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (7 November 2011):
In this day and age, people will copy and save photos of attractive women to their computers and set up dating profiles to chat with men online with the sole purpose to build up trust and later scam them out of their money.
Are you absolutely certain your brother's fiancee is the person behind the profile? Are you absolutely certain she hasn't been the victim of identity theft? Does the name on the profile match her name, or is it the name of another female?
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I think you should tell your brother. I know you don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but if it turns out she was cheating you wouldn't want him to legally bind himself to her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 November 2011):
 Is it by chance an old profile? or is it recent? Personally, I would show my brother. What he does with it is up to him.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (7 November 2011):
This is a tough one, you obviously don't want to be the bearer of bad news which is fair enough.
However, if it were me, I would tell my sibling. I would also want them to do the same to me.
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