A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think my boyfriends going to leave me because i don't satisfy him sexually.Basically, we have great sex and i usually get 2 or 3 orgasms. my boyfreinds circumsised so he can go on for ages (which is good) but he never gets one inside me and always has to do it himself afterwards. I really want to be able to give him and orgasm but i just can't last that long! I tryed doing by hand and i'm getting better at he but he still has too take over after a while. i also go down on him but i'd have to go on for an hour before he'd get one! it's just an impossible task.I've been with him for nearlly 2 years and he's getting annoyed that i cant satisfiy him and that i'm not trying hard enough but i dont know what to do. nothing seems to work and if something does fell good to him i have have to keep it up for ages and it's just to tiring!Apart from this we have a really great sex life (we do it everytime i see him which is about 3-4 times a week) and we're really intimate. does anyone else have a similar problem? and also how much sex do people normally have when they're teenagers?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice.
I think i'm going to talk to him about it and tell him he might have a problem but men get really sensitive about these things coz of their ego's. he always tells me how he's so brilliant in bed and that women have nothing to do with it. he's says it's him 80% and me 20% and he says that women have more orgasms because of the man but i think the woman has a lot to do with it.
this is to StudentOfLife yea we've tried loads of positions and some are better than others but none seem to work. maybe it's because he's uite small (5-6 inches) im not sure coz he always clains it's 6 but i think it's 5
A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (24 July 2008):
 I have to completely agree with Yos. The problem here is not you or your inability to satisfy him. The problem here is him and his inability to BE satisfied. Being circumcized has absolutely nothing to do with it. I have never in my life been with an uncircumcized man and not one of them has ever had difficulty orgasming or have been able to 'go for ages' as you say. They have been able to go for more or less time due to other circumstances that had nothing to due with circumcision (such as having recently had sex so able to last longer, cumming very quickly when very turned on or not having had sex in a few days). Generally teenage males have rather quick orgasms. It is only as they get a bit older that they are able to hold out and last a bit longer. And having sex 3-4 times a weeks sounds to me to be quite a lot at your age. How are you manageing all that free, private time to be together and have sex? Dont you have parents, school, etc?
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Wow, you two have this completely the wrong way round.
His trouble with having an orgasm is nothing to do with you. It's either a physical or mental problem with him. A 'normal' male will orgasm within 5 to 10 minutes of intercourse at the longest, whoever it is with. The woman doesn't have to 'do' anything other than lie there. So it really is nothing to do with you. He'll find that if he leaves you he'll have exactly the same problem with his next girlfriend.
It's called 'retarded ejaculation', and is the second most common sexual problem with men after premature ejaculation. There are many possible causes, here are the most common:
- A physical problem such as problems with his prostate, his pelvic floor muscles or similar.
- A medical issue: anti-depressants, and blood pressure medicine are common culprits.
- A psychological problem. This is the most common, and the most difficult to treat. This can range from an inability for him to relax and let go sufficiently to orgasm, or it can be due to repressed feelings of guilt or other negative emotions towards sex.
- It's also possible that he's unable to get aroused enough. This is unlikely, but if for example he is masturbating to very hardcore porn very frequently, then he may not be getting sufficiently turned-on by 'ordinary' sex.
Whichever of these it is, you are certainly not the person at fault here. He should speak to a doctor first, and perhaps a sex-therapist.
Good luck, don't blame yourself for this, or let him blame you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): If you get 2 or 3 orgasms every time you have sex, the problem isn't yours -it's his. For further reading take a look at this site:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_difficultyejaculating.shtml
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Being circumsised doesn't stop a guy 'finnishing' so that won't be the reason.
Sex when you are a teenager = can you think of anything else?!
I am at a loss of why there is a problem. Other than trial and error and try new things or something.
fiona
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Sex when you're a teenager = More is better than less and now is better than later.
Life works like this "Lesson repeated until lesson learn". If something doesn't seem to work, try something else instead of redoing the same thing.
Speaking of personal experience, some position was more pleasurable for me than other. I talked about it to some friend, and I realized that we didn't have the same "best" position.
Maybe it depends on the person, try something new. Books are available on the subject, I bought one with 365 position (one for each day of the year) ... now all I need is someone to practice with.
Hope this help.
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