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My boyfriend wants to watch me have sex with a girl!

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

ok so my bf asked me if i would do sexual things with another girl while hes watching.. idk whats that called but i have been intrested in that (we are both 18) so he said if i wanted he could try and find someone for me to do stuff with. but then i got concerned because i was thinking what if he gets attractive to the other girl and what if she or he starts doing psysical things also?.. cuz having him staring at another girl naked makes me nervous..and plus he said that he could do stuff with both of us and then said he was joking and then i asked if he was serious or not and he said "i don't know" so i really didn't like what he said whenever he ment it or not so now im not interested at all but i was wondering if these things that people do can break relationships? so i told him no i don't want to this and he said thats fine so its not like he was pushing me or anything..

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A female reader, ttunipp United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2010):

ttunipp agony auntFantasies should sometimes just stay that...a fantasy.

You both seem very unsure of your sexuality. You do not seem very stable. I think you both really need to talk and think about what you both want out of your life and out of your relationship.

I can tell you when I was with my civil partner I fantasised about her having sex with a man and I know I did that because I wanted to have sex with a man but didn't see a way of doing it so this was the next best thing.

I'm not saying that is the reason for you two but you really need to talk about this if it is bugging you.

You where right to say no if you weren't comfortable. You are also young and if you are thinking about things in this way you are at the right time in your life to be experimenting and not being held down in a serious relationship.

Good luck!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (16 June 2010):

chigirl agony auntYes, don't do it. You are not 100% sure of it, so it is best not to. These sorts of experiences are only for couples who are 100% dedicated to each other, trust each other, and know each other inside out. Including another person into the sexlife is known to break up couples. By the sounds of it, you and the relationship is not ready for this step.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010):

I think you may both be too young at this point of your relationship to know what you do want. Best to wait until you feel clearer and then decide. There is no pressure. Once you do that kind of thing there is no erasing it or turning back. Although he is not pressurising you, the idea was not yours - which should tell you something.

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (16 June 2010):

baddogbj agony auntYup. He is absolutely counting on the two of you having a good time and getting carried away and then not minding when he joins in.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

xanthic agony auntOf course he wants to join in, a threesome is the ultimate male fantasy. If you're uncomfortable at all about the idea of bringing another girl in, don't do it. What matters most is that -you- want to do it too, not just for him.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

person12345 agony auntIf you're not 100% on this it could be a really big mistake. Lots of relationships have been ruined because one party (typically the girl) was pressured in this. Don't do this unless you're totally sure you want to.

Some things if you do decide to do this, you should pick the girl. Not him. That way you can pick someone you're comfortable with and someone you're comfortable having him watch. Also, you need to set your own ground rules. You can say you don't want him touching her at all. You can even have the other woman wear clothes or something. Do whatever feels right and if doing this doesn't feel right, don't do it just to please him because if that's the reason, you'll regret it.

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (16 June 2010):

sunnycomet agony auntHe was asking for a threesome. If it makes you uncomfortable then don't do it. It will just have to be one of his me....if your not 100% comfortable then you will regret it.

Good Luck!

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