A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i lost my virginity to a guy i wasn't in love with or in a relationship with (though i was really attracted to him). i have no regrets about not "waiting" or "saving" myself for "The One." to me, the sex was a purely physical thing. does that make me a slut? i told my current boyfriend about it when he asked about my sexual history and he thinks it makes me a slut (even though i've only had that one sexual partner before my bf and he-my bf-lost his virginity in some drunken one-night stand).my bf won't speak to me and i am thinking about breaking up with the double-standard pig...
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drunk, lost my virginity, sexual past Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DrCynic +, writes (12 April 2007):
 You are who you are... Big deal you had sex... Your boyfriend sounds like a jackass... Dump him for someone who doesn't care about trivial issues like that.
A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Dear anonymous writer,
A guy will call you a slut if you have sexx with one guy but he can have sex with 50 girls and be called a playah and its the best thing....but whatever hun dont worrie about it if he breaks up with you a guy who calls you a slut for being with one guy isnt worth it, if you dont regreat what you did then he shouldnt worrie about it, plus he put himself into that part by asking you if he didnt want to hear that then he should have never asked you that......leave him and find a man who dont care about your past he cares about your future
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): I totally agree with everything DrPsych advised you! You werent living is a box before you met this man (I use the term loosly, as a real man would never dream of calling his other half a slut). You deserve better than this and you can find it. Set yourself standards of kindness, consideration, respect and to be treated as an equal in your future relationships and dont stay with anyone who falls short. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (7 April 2007):
 Please honey do yourself a favour ditch this loser and find someone who does not put you down by judging your past sexual experience. How dare he call you a slut, what he did was 10 times worse by having a drunken one night stand, this guy is an absolute hypocrite. Find a guy who is more worthy of you, and not some narrowminded bigot who has double standards. Good Luck on finding Mr Right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007): You Go Girl ! I say he is not worth it. How can he think something like that about you if he loves you ??? You really seem to be a nice person,you are definetely not a slut. There are many people in the same situation as you, so what ????? I think that you deserve to be with someone who would cherish you for what, and who you are. It's better that his feelings are out in the open now, and that you can choose to be or not to be with him. Better now than later. I say, he does not deserve you and he is a horrible person for thinking of you like that. You are the one with class, you were honest with him. When you love someone, it suppose to be unconditionally. Good luck my dear.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (7 April 2007):
 I think your boyfriend has issues centred around sexual insecurity - he feels you are more sexually experienced than him and that makes him feel bad about himself. That is no excuse for his reaction to your revelation however and I don't think there is much of a relationship here worth saving. Any man who calls you a slut isn't being respectful...but remember, if he is dating a slut...what does that make him exactly? As for saving yourself for 'the one'...it is a rather ideological term. I wouldnt have much hope for the reproductive future of the human race if we were only allocated one partner in life. There are lots of guys out there who are possible 'one' material but it may take a while to find someone who you would consider settling down with. You are young, free and soon-to-be single (I hope) so you shouldn't feel guilty about your sexual history or future. While I am not suggesting you have serial one-night stands, you probably know yourself well enough to know what is acceptable to you. If you meet a man in the future who reacts badly to that then they are just not suited to you. There are plenty of men out there who would like you enough to accept you whatever you did - just a question of finding a gent!
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