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My boyfriend proposed! During sex... Thoughts?

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Question - (11 November 2012) 12 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2015)
A female Philippines age 36-40, anonymous writes:

my boyfriend proposed to me during sex.

he called it making love and he asked me to marry him while his **** was inside me. i said yes but thought the whole time if he was joking and how could he ever think that this was a cool idea of proposing. afterwards i told him that i really didnt like the proposal and would like to get a new one. asked him if he was really serious about it and he said yes! i didnt check out the ring cos i really would like to have a "better" proposal. do you think im making a big deal about this? it is a big deal to me, this is a marriage proposal, how can i tell my friends or family when they ask me how he proposed. he had been asking me before what kind of proposal is ideal to me and i tell him, romantic dinner, candlelight, etc and then he comes up with this? i just thought that he didnt consider how i would feel about it. sure i love him and he loves me. but i dont know..i guess i was setting too much expectations?? id especially like guys to answer this. what do you think was going on in his mind at that time?

he had an ex girlfriend before, ex fiance in fact and ive read about how he proposed to her in her blog. i didnt mean to read her blog entirely, didnt even know about it but somehow i found her page and read that part. and she was so happy with his proposal, it was romantic and all, out in the woods. and now this is just making me feel insecure somehow.

View related questions: ex girlfriend, fiance, insecure

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2015):

Well one answer from the other side. I thought about proposing properly, I spoke to my now wife of 5 years (and going bloody strong)'s mother (father sadly dead) and I thought of the right setting in which to propose (would have done ring but knew there was a family one she had wanted for years). And then the nerves started. This was important, would I completely louse up asking her - and then one week early... Yup, I did. Not classy in any way shape or form. But as far as my wife is concerned there is a plus. I will NEVER EVER BE ALLOWED TO FORGET THIS...

So ask yourself, is your bloke the wrong kind of person or just someone with the marital equivalent of stage fright.

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A female reader, Staceily United States +, writes (12 November 2012):

Staceily agony auntAh yes I saw that episode too candid cally. It was in an episode of Will and Grace as well, Nathan proposed to Grace in the middle of sex. Both times the women said no.

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (12 November 2012):

This was part of the plot for a recent episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' Leonard proposed to Penny while they were in bed making love.

Anyway, I do think he owes you a real formal, down on one knee proposal.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (12 November 2012):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntYou didn't set your expectations too high.

Did he really plan to propose or was it spontaneous? You have not checked out the ring, but is there one? Had he gone out and bought the ring?

I would feel insecure too if there is actually no ring and you feel this was spontaneous rather than a considered proposal.

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A female reader, j3510 United States +, writes (12 November 2012):

i think in the heat of the moment he felt so good he wants u to be his wife so u wont sleep with no one else he might be obsess with ur good good lol but he might really love u my boyfriend did the same to me he asked me did i love him while we were having sex for the first time i replyed yes i love u so much like no one else cause i had his d### inside off me i was also feeling so good so i say if he loves u he will ask u again the right way its up to u no one else but u knoe's how he fells about u just follow ur heart and good luck with ur relationship!!!!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 November 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou've hit on an interesting phenomenon....

You see.... when a man's penis is inside a woman's vagina, ALL cranial/neural activity, which might have otherwise guided what his mouth was saying, is TOTALLY short-circuited.... and the mouth is strictly "on its own" as to what emerges from it.....

In your case, the mouth was so enamored of where the penis was - and how good it felt - that it blurted out a phrase ("Will you marry me") that it KNEW - if you consented to it - had the potential of making certain that the penis would get almost-unlimited opportunites to feel good within your vagina....

You were probably wise to ask that guy to reconsider his proposal once his penis is not overriding the "speech" portion of his cranial brain!!!!

Good luck, nonetheless.....

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (11 November 2012):

janniepeg agony auntI wouldn't look at it as a proposal. An official proposal needs a ring. From time to time men test women to see how ready we are. They don't want to suffer the humiliation of a woman saying no so they would gauge a woman's reaction by mentioning marriage when it's on their mind. I don't think proposal is necessarily a one time, one step process. It's possible that he had done the same with his ex. No need to think less of yourself. He should be able to express his words and feelings without judgment, especially when he has positive intention.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2012):

I don't think he's serious-my boyfriend asked me to marry him loads of times while we were having sex and we never married actually he ended up marrying someone else behind my back

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 November 2012):

Honeypie agony auntWow, I would not be over the moon over that proposal either. And, I would tell him that I can't take it seriously.

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A male reader, Beautifulboy United States +, writes (11 November 2012):

you can look at it either way.. you could feel not special by him asking you to marry him while intercourse.. or you could feel more important than anyone because when me and my ex had sex.. which i considered that we were making love. its the closest connection in every way to the person you love (intercourse in my opinion) soo honestly him asking you to marry him during sex dosent seem that un-romantic if you ask me and im a guy!! he may be in love with you soo much that he originally planned on a diff. set up for the proposal but during yall making love and his endorphins and emotions were at a peak level that he just couldnt contrap his felings anymore and wanted you as his wife then and there an i truely believe that it has almost as much significance as a candle lit dinner or in front of everybody at a stadium so to say... i think alot of women want their proposals in the form of a romance novel, or a romantic movie or a fantasy theme but the truth is, just because he proposes during sex, does not mean he loves you any less than the guy who proposed to his wife at starbucks.. lol its true!!

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A female reader, Staceily United States +, writes (11 November 2012):

Staceily agony auntI don't think you have high expectations because you want your boyfriend to propose outside of having sex... I wouldn't like this at all either. And I probably would've also said yes in confusion wondering if this was the real proposal or what. He should do it again properly with something you would like in mind. That's how proposals go, it doesn't need to be expensive or flashy but definitely something that means something to you. Maybe he had the impression that you wouldn't care how he proposed? Like you are very easy going? Or maybe he thought the sex was extremely romantic at the time and thought it would be ok? I don't know, I can't make sense of it and I asked my husband for a man's point of view and he doesn't get it either. I don't think it is unacceptable for you to want a new proposal. The fact is your parents and friends and everyone else definitely will ask, are you supposed to lie and make up what happened or do you say "he asked while we were naked with my legs in the air." Tell him to please try again.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (11 November 2012):

chigirl agony auntI think you're making a big deal out of it, but in the end, if it is important to you then it should be important to him. If he knew it was important to you, then he should have been more considerate.

Then again, you should have said no if the proposal wasn't to your liking.

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