A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so me and my bf have been dating for almost 3 years and we are both the same age, 23. Lately I have been stressing to him the importance of him establishing a "career" because he is about to turn 24 in a couple of months and I do want better for him. He tried enlisting into the military but he did not meet the weight requirement so now he is trying to become a firefighter. In the beginning of our relationship we loved spending every waking moment together and I still kind of love spending time with him, yet i don't think he feels the same way anymore. We do not live to together and we both work so we only see each other about 2 times a week. However, my boyfriend has four straight days off and spends most of them with his friends whom he lives with and sees everyday! Now when I offer to take him someplace or do something for him, he would rather have one of his roommates do it and when we are spending time together I feel as though he is not cherishing the moment. If I spend the night, if I wake up in the morning he is already up playing with his yuigoh cards(childish) or if we are over my house he is constantly on his phone either face booking/instagramming, texting friends or looking at live video game streams. Also, If I make the first move when it comes to sex we won't even bother and it kind of hurts my feelings so now I just let him make the first move but we don't have sex as much as we use too. I have confronted him on this and his excuse was that he was tired and overworked in which maybe he is. Also, we rarely go out of dates anymore and his excuse is not having money. The days that we would normally spend together, he would make plans that don't involve me in advanced. I have confronted him numerous times in the past on his dependency to his friends and he would just apologize, spend more time with me that week, then go back to the same behavior the next week. I just don't know where his head is at anymore and it hurts and I don't know what to do?
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 I sense that he as entered or is entering a stage of depression. You may suggest proffesional help butat this point he will probably jus deny theroblem. Keep watch over him, if is depression, it can go south on you both pretty quick[no I'm not a doctor,just an observation of one familiar with the signs of illness] Good Luck , I hope he can resolve the issues sooner rather than later.
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