A
female
age
41-50,
*enta
writes:I have been dating a man for a year and a half. We are together usually every night, I sleep over his place, his family loves me and we say I love you but in Feb I caught him with a girl over his house. One night stand type of thing, we split and then gave him a second chance. Past few weeks he has not seen me on the weekends and so I decided to make a surprise visit and I found him laying on his couch asleep with another girl. I called him the next morning and told him we were done, It was over, He begged me to not end things and that he loved me an wanted to spend the rest of my life with me and he also so he will commit to me and told me he was so emotional invested in me and he loved how I fit with his family and that he would never do this again. I am having doubts about this and I do love him but I do not think he can stop. And if a man loves you and tells you that you are the most important person in there life then how can you cheat on them and spend time with another women? Can a man really love one person but want their cake too? I am worried if I take him back I will be let down again.
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I love you, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 June 2012):
 He keeps cheating because he knows you will "forgive" him..
Unless you accept him for the cheater he IS, there is only one other option. DUMP the loser.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 If you act like a doormat, he will treat you like one.
Whenever there's a breakdown in a relationship once, IMO I don't think it can ever be the same again.
Don't let this guy worm his way back in, kick him to the curb and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 You have already given him his second chance and he spat that back in your face. So, if you want to continue being in a relationship with a serial cheater, give him a third chance, and a fourth chance and a fifth even.
He will continue to cheat on you, he has already shown he doesn't keep his word, so its up to you to decide if you want to stay with a cheater and a liar, and a man who cannot be trusted, or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): I'm going through the same exact thing and they r right he is only using u and he doesn't respect you. You need to love yourself and respect your self first I know its hard I've been with mine almost five yrs in July and been engaged for five months and he is with someone else .... Again! Be hard with him and he will c that you are a woman to be respected. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): Once a cheater, always a cheater. Its so true. He will keep doing this. Don't take him back. You will be miserable and start suspecting him of cheating every minute because ou can't trust him!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 June 2012):
 You have before you proof-positive that a man ("men") will say ANYTHING to get a woman to put out for him... and KEEP PUTTING OUT, if he likes the s*x.....
You've got all the evidence you need to conclude that this is such a guy,.... and that - unless you part from him - you are setting yourself up for still more heartbreak....
There are better guys out there....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Are commitment and monogamy things you want from a relationship? If so, you're not going to get either from this man. If he was someone you could trust, this wouldn't be an ongoing problem.
He's sorry he got caught, and you've forgiven him before, so he has reason to believe you'd do so again. He IS having his cake and eating it too, and you're letting him.
Ditch this guy. If you take him back, you will be let down again. Simple as that. You can, and I'm sure you will find better. Just remember to value your happiness, and don't sell yourself short by staying with someone you know isn't worth your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): "I am worried if I take him back I will be let down again."
Because you will.
Look if you want to go back to a guy who is going to cheat on you again and again, then do so.
If you don't then move on.
All the other shit is irrelevant isn't it? You're not dating his family and his words of commitment are pretty hollow aren't they?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2012): If he was truly sorry why did he cheat on you the second time? He obviously doesn't know what love is and the only thing he's "sorry" about is getting caught.
Fool me once shame on you...
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (4 June 2012):
He may not be in love with u, I don't doubt he loves u. U can love but not be in love. His behavior is a pattern. I say he don't love nor respect u. N he is also taking u for granted n taking advantage of u. U are allowing this. U can justify, rectify, or pacify his behavior. U can however say goodbye to him and his behavior. He will continue this pattern if u forgive him. Why? Bc he doesn't love u. N bc he has done so twice now. Meshing well with his family is irrelevant. He cheats, he lies, n he uses naive people. U can break his life cycle of lying n cheating but u can break the cycle from ur life by moving on from him having nothing to do with him. Good luck
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