A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 23 and I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 years. I love him to pieces. I'm getting to the stage where I’m wanting someone to settle down with and have a potential husband. My boyfriend says he loves me, but he doesn't have any expectations. He's not sure what he wants (even though he's asked me to move in on several occasions). He says that I am the first person he's dated and he loves me very much, but he is afraid that if he settled down without seeing what else is out there he might regret it. But at the same time he says he would be afraid to leave me because it is so good with me and then not be able to find anyone better and realise I was the right one. I'm worried about this. I feel like I'll be hanging around another while and then he'll just decide he wants to try other people. As I said before, we've been together for 5 years, through thick and thin, I thought that would be enough time to know if you like someone. I'm not asking him to marry me. I'm just wanting to know if we could be going somewhere. If we are on the same level. I'm not ready to marry anyone yet, I just want to know I'm not wasting my time. I feel like it may be a bit of a time bomb or do I hang in there for a while longer and see if he changes his mind? Can anyone shed some light for me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (5 June 2012):
 You have to let him go so he can find out what else is out there. Trust me he is going to do this one way or another anyhow. You can either do it voluntarily on your terms or find out he's sleeping with the maid 5 years after you marry the guy. Trust me if you do it now, it'll be less painful the other way. He has clearly stated that he's unsure about your future because he doesn't know what else is out there. Could be he'll come back to you, but if you don't give him the chance now, it'll just resurface later and it'll hurt much worse. Offer to break up with him for a few months. Maybe a year. You both have permission to see other people and yes, either of you could meet and fall in love with someone else. But if you end up back together a year later, it'll feel more solid and then you might be able to build a future on that foundation. Good luck.
A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (4 June 2012):
 I think you should find someone else. It's been 5 years and he's regretting that he hasn't been with anyone else. If he was truly happy, he wouldn't be thinking about potential relationships with anyone else because he'd have it all with you. If he's not sure after 5 years, then he won't be sure after 10. I'd let him go and let him date. Then you can say no when he comes back apologizing. He's wasted too much of your time to not be sure about you.
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