A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My boyfriend really isnt himself lately, we're on a break because he needs to finish college and stuff we've been together for 4 months and up until then its been perfect then the other day he decided he wanted a break so he could finish college without the distractions just to be himself which I was fine by we still agreed to talk and everything though. Since then hes been drunk two days in a row, first night he was fine and second night for a while, now all of a sudden its almost like he's bipolar. He's been saying he doesn't care about me or how I feel anymore if I'm upset, I suffer from severe depression (to the point where I self harm at times, Im getting help for this and my boyfriend knows this) he said a few other nasty stuff too like he knew drinking was bad for both of us but he doesn't care.Before the break he seemed to care and even the first day of our break he was telling me how much he loved me and how I'm his world.Now hes just turned into someone else literally overnight and I can't stand it I don't want to leave him because I love him so much and I feel hes the only thing I've got going thats making me happy, or was until tonight now I just feel like I have nothing to live for and my boyfriend doesn't care, he doesn't seem to care how much he's hurt me tonight.I've done nothing wrong, he promised me nothing would change and now all this has happened I'm so hurt and upset by it all I don't think I can sleep, eat, drink.I don't get why he's all of a sudden changed, I just want things to go back to normal and be happy again.I have no idea what to do.Do I talk to him about it or do I just leave it and see what happens?Please help,Thank you in advanceXxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, this seems like ages ago!
But just an update:
Me and my boyfriend worked things out and we're stronger than ever. We've been together nearly a year now, it was a really bad rough patch possibly the worst we've been in.
But i'm so glad I still have my man :)
A
female
reader, CupidLover  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Sweetheart, leave him,dump him, forget about him...all he is doing is making you feel bad about urself;let him go this is not healthy.
He is immature for saying silly and hurtful things to you,and considering dumping you for a facial piercing?! that is OUTRAGEOUS!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response.Since last night I tried talking to him today and he couldn't remember what he said last night which caused me to be a bit upset because his behaviour last night made me feeling worthless and upset and he couldn't of cared less.He's considering permantley breaking up with me because I got a new facial piercing I have no idea why. He's really become a control freak of late.He also said he wants to be with me but I bore him.He really has changed these past couple of days.xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response.Since last night I tried talking to him today and he couldn't remember what he said last night which caused me to be a bit upset because his behaviour last night made me feeling worthless and upset and he couldn't of cared less.He's considering permantley breaking up with me because I got a new facial piercing I have no idea why. He's really become a control freak of late.He also said he wants to be with me but I bore him.He really has changed these past couple of days.xx
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (1 May 2010):
You seem like a very caring and lovable person; I have been through something like this,and a lot worse too.
I just want you to know that for the sake of your wellbeing you are better off moving on.
You are already in a fragile state, not eating,self harm etc. And the one person you love and feel like you can rely on is making you feel horrible inside is just not good for you!
Break ups are hard,but time will heal all wounds, surround yourself with positive people, people you feel that have ur best interest in hand; like your friends, and family. It always helps to be around those kind of people especially during hard times.
I know you can get through this, keep your head up doll,and take it one step at a time; please get a good meal in your stomach too!
Goodluck!
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Unfortunately, the whole "We're on a break" thing is really a permanent breakup, but he didn't have the guts to just come out with it. He's now saying it with his actions. I don't think talking it over again with him will help.
The best thing you can do is grieve for the relationship, get it out of your system, and start thinking about your future. You don't need him or anyone else to "complete" you, and I know it feels like the pit of despair now, but you will heal.
As for your depression and self-harm, I hope you are getting help in the form of professional help. There's no reason anyone should harm themselves, and I hope you figure out why you're doing it and get that repaired.
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