A
female
age
26-29,
*urityChild
writes:So I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 month and before he meet me he had a crush on this girl. Recently I found out that he still has a major crush on her, he also wrote on her facebook wall that she was gorgeoous...she I be concerned?
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female
reader, PurityChild +, writes (16 November 2010):
PurityChild is verified as being by the original poster of the question I totally agree with you, but I just dont know how to start a conversation with him about it without coming off too aggresive because sometimes my anger will come off way faster than the hurt and I wont be able to filter what im saying and may end up saying the wrong thing...ya know!?!?!
A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Ahh poor love. I know that feeling, one of my exes when I was a teen had a major crush on his best friends girlfriend and she was the opposite of me; blonde, skinny, dumb..so i didn't get why he liked her.
Remember, that for him, this girl is just someone he likes the look of, he isnt in love with her. If he liked her that much, he woulden't be with you.
What he has written is just plain stupid, but kind of predictable for a bone head teenage boy!!
If I were you I would feel sorry for him that he doesn't have as much control over himself as us ladies. Silly boy!
If you think that not talking to him about it is going to cause you stress then mention to him how pissed off you are. You need to be comfortable in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, PurityChild +, writes (15 November 2010):
PurityChild is verified as being by the original poster of the question@dmartin He put I little like thing on her wall called why what's up...it's a teen thing, and ways the way he said it was like omg are you kidding me...it was like,
********
The girl I can't stay mad at
The most gorgeous girl
The one everyone has a crush on
Used to sit with every day at lunch
Yea I know her, Why what's up
*********
...Pretty much alot of things said above hurt my feelings...and she didn't even ask for a wwu he just kindof wrote it on her wall...he calles me beautiful occasionally..but I think gorgeous is alot better than beautiful idrk, but He said "everyone has a crush on" like everyone including you uggghhh it makes my skin crawl at the thought of him thinking about other girl!!!!! :(
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I don't want to be mean, but it sounds to me that he really doesn't care about your feelings. You two have been together a month? I would say good bye. I know that that is really really hard to do, especially when you care and like someone a lot. But I think you will save yourself future pain if you do. I wouldn't tolerate my boyfriend calling other girls "gorgeous" especially on a public networking place where everyone can see it. I know he would be hurt if I did that. If he is with you, then you should be the most gorgeous woman to him in the whole world and if he doesn't? I'm positive you will find someone who appreciates you for you and does think you are the most wonderful thing since individual chocolates.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (15 November 2010):
Why did he tell her she was gorgeous?
Was this as a reply to something or did he just write it?
Need some more details please!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): i think you should talk to him about it,if he wants other girls he is truly not worth it. he will just make you upset in the future if you try to move on you will think thst every guy will do the same things he did.. even though most of the guys wouldn't... maybe.. sorry if this didn't help ut my ex did this alot.. with my bestfriend and his bestfriend.. he is still doing it with his current girlfriend
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A
female
reader, micha  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 you boyfriend doesnt respect you at all if he is with you he must forget all the girls because he is yours ,dont be sad be strong handle the situation smartly
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A
female
reader, PurityChild +, writes (14 November 2010):
PurityChild is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, and @annonymous person: We are exclusive because he is my BOYFRIEND! @largentsgirl89 I got my frind to ask him if he has any crushes and he said he did...and I personallly was shocked and hurt, but then again he had a crush on her before we meet so idk what to think!?!?!
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (14 November 2010):
This guy sounds like a bit of an idiot!
I think it is unreasonable to expect him not to still have a crush on this girl, as feeling dont just dissaperate after you meet someone else. But the fact that he has written on her facebook that she is gorgrous when you two are in a relationship is just plain stupid on his part!
I also think it depends on what situation he said she was gorgeous in. Are they friends.
If he responded to her saying "I feel so ugly today" and they are friends, I think it would be ok to say "Dont be silly, you're gorgeous".
However if it was just a comment he put on her wall without it being an intervention, i think its important to ask him why.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Confront him about it...there's definitely something wrong if a fresh new relationship is faced with this issue already. Talk to him about it, CALMLY...just tell him how you feel...if you approach this with an accusatory tone it might encourage defensiveness or even encourage him to do it more secretively. You are right in feeling the way you do, its definitely a concern that needs to be talked about. Nip it in the bud, put your boundaries in place and if he doesn't like it then he's not your man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): i would be far more concerned with your illogical attitude. Chill a little. Relax. A little less intensity, please. This boy is still looking, based on his facebook comments. You became an acquaintence of this boy one month ago. You met, you talked. You may have enjoyed giggling with him. Maybe he complimented you in some way. Yet you hardly know him. And already you feel proprietal rights over him? What exactly makes you think you and him are an exclusive ongoing partnership after just one month?
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (14 November 2010):
Yes you should be concerned, but don't be silent about it! Tell him what you saw and how you feel about it. If he can't explain his actions and does have a crush on her still, maybe its best that you aren't dating right now. Split up until he can clear his head and decide who he wants to be with.
But talk about it first. Maybe there's a solid explanation for it, but that's up to you whether or not to believe it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Yes you should be concerned. However, look at it this way youve only been with him for a month so hopefully you dont have a lot of emotion invested into the relationship. Id be pretty upset with him and so you should for sure confront him. Hope things go okay.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (14 November 2010):
Um that would royally piss me off to find that my bf had told another woman she was gorgeous. I would at least confront him about it. Guys don't think with their brains, gorgeous vs. substance?
He told you that he has a crush on her?
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