A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Can I please have some advice if or when you have the time? I don't know what to do.I was with my ex for 2 years; we were pretty serious at the time. We ended it after those two years because he cheated on me with my "friend." This "friend" of mine, who was in a long-term relationship herself at the time, would always ask about my ex and how our relationship was going.I noticed that during our friendship she would always make little comments about me "being able to attract the guys" and being "perfect", but I pushed it to the back of my mind. She started messaging my ex behind mine and her boyfriend's back. My ex obviously responded positively to the attention because they started sleeping together while she was still acting the part of my friend to my face and pretending to be supportive of our relationship.When I found out, I was blindsided obviously. This was the last thing I thought he would do to me. My ex and I had a huge fight and I never spoke to him again. He then started dating this "friend" and they've been together ever since. As far as I know they're still dating.I have nothing to do with either of them now, and I'm in a relatively new relationship. My boyfriend and I were talking for a few months, and we've just become exclusive. But I saw the other day that he followed a familiar name on his instagram. It is the same girl my ex cheated on me with. I don't know how he knows her because he's never met my ex-friend and she's never met him either. I know I shouldn't have looked but I did a little stalk of his profile and she's clearly followed him recently and has been liking his pictures. I've also seen that he's liked a few of her pictures back.How should I approach this with my new boyfriend? Since it's such a new relationship, I don't want to bring this up in a way that makes me look controlling or jealous. I'm scared of being cheated on again and with the same girl. I think she did it on purpose before and is able to make me look bad. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2024): I'm glad you cut off from both of them. She sounds very envious of you and trying to prove something. She could lack self esteem and be competitive for that reason.
Please speak to your current boyfriend. Tell him what happened before and how it has affected you. If he's worth keeping he'll be careful not to hurt you. You don't need to say you looked at his profile. Block her from all your social media. Don't let anyone think she's your friend.
I'd be tempted to ask her why she's been doing this but maybe it's best to stay away from her completely.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (8 April 2024):
 Just ask him straight up where he knows her from. If he asks you why, tell him, humor me.
Hopefully, that will give him the opening to tell YOU where he knows her from.
Depending on what he says, you have to make a choice, either tell him she was a friend of yours until she started cheating with you then BF, now ex. Or keep an eye on it. Personally, I'd tell him.
She probably IS doing it on purpose because for whatever reason, she is jealous of you, and she thinks by "yoinking" your BF's she is somehow "better" than you. She is not. She's a hoe.
Make sure she HAS NOT access to ANY of your socials. ANY.
Now what HE chooses to do after you tell him, will determine whether he is long term BF material or not.
But TALK to him. He is probably clueless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2024): Does he know your back ground story as him liking this girl ...is to me more than coincidental .
If he does ..walk away .. he's playing with fire .
If he doesn't give him lil background . Tell him it's unacceptable to you .. and if he chooses to still like her pics then you can. Hose to end it . For every action there is a reaction .
This is setting boundaries.
Head high sweetie
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