A
female
age
30-35,
*atx3
writes:So my boyfriend of a year has gotten very controlling and jealous. I had to delete my facebook and every guy in my phone because of him. He blows me off every weekend forfriends and barley talks to me on weekdays. Then when I go hang out with friends he blows up my phone asking where I am and what i'm doing, if I don't text back in 3 min I get another 3texts asking what's taking me forever to reply.Yesterday I was at his house cause he leaves for Florida today, and he ended up leaving meat his house with his sister so he could go give his friend a ride and told mehe'd be back soon alone without his friend and next thing you know he's back with his friend and cancels all our plans. So I went and made other plans with friends.I texted him saying I'm glad it's become a routine for you to ditch me every week, and told himto **** off. He texted back saying it wasn't his fault. Then he starts blowing up my phone asking where I'm at and who I'm with. I ignored it and he wouldn't stop so I finally told him what resturants I was at. As I'm walking out, he's walking in. He wanted to make sure I wasn't mad and I forgave him.It was my friends bday and she wanted to go downtown to meetup with her bf, so I went with her to make her happy. The place where my bf hates megoing cause there's guys down there. So he gets all pisses, yelling at melike crazy, and last thing he tells me is to **** off and have fun. I ask himto hang every weekend but he always blowsme off so when I go do something with friends I always end up in tearscause he'd rather just have me stay at home while he's out partying. He's even mademe leave my friends before to see him or he threatens to break up with me.The last time I heard from him was last night at 10 and I've been textinghim apologizing like crazy and he's ignored me ever since. He also left for Florida today for two weeks so I have no idea what to do.What's the best thing for me to do in this situation?!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 April 2010):
Leave. He'll destroy you even more if you don't. You can do better than a guy like this.
A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (3 April 2010):
 THIS IS YOU: I ask him to hang every weekend but he always blows me off. Why do you want to be with a guy like this? Does this sound like he cares about you?
THIS IS YOU: so when I go do something with friends I always end up in tears cause he'd rather just have me stay
at home while he's out partying. WHAT!? You stay home while he parties? Does this sound like someone who loves you?
THIS IS YOU: He's even made me leave my friends before to see him or he threatens to break up with me. HE MADE YOU LEAVE YOUR FRIEND HOUSE? AND YOU DID IT!
Look I took your quotes out of your post so you can see what you are saying. This guy is very very controlling. This is now what love is! Love is not about control at all. If you stay with this guy the next step is physical abuse. I guarantee it. He's controlling and you are always in tears. Yeah he may put a butterfly in the pit of your stomach but that's not love that's fear. The next time it's going to be his fist. Not kidding! Is this what you want in in a relationship? I don't think so.
The last time I heard from him was last night at 10 and I've been texting
him apologizing like crazy and he's ignored me ever since.
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A
male
reader, TORRES +, writes (3 April 2010):
hes managed to get you into the place were you feel resposible when you have done nothing wrong. This can only go one way and thats not a positive way. As hard as it may be you need to escape as this will destroy your self worth.
He may have some major insecuritys and been cheated on in the past, but still no reason to abuse you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 You are in an abusive relationship. You can be martyr or a doormat.
You can forgive, accept and understand him but you will be dying inside or you can look elsewhere for love and emotional nurturings.
Why settle for the mediocre?
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A
male
reader, MrBrightside90  +, writes (3 April 2010):
Hey natx3,
You need to ask yourself the question, Do you really want to spend your time with a person like this?
Maybe you still love him, and don't want to break up, but what he is doing is totally rediculous. Him ditching you for frieds is bad enough, but being that controling is insane.
A good relationship should be build on trust, and there is nothing wrong with you having a facebook or male companionship.
I think breaking up with this guy will make you much more happier, I myself just got out of a nast relationship with a girl who was at times very affectionate and at other times abusive and very demanding. It made me really sad, and the only thing I regret now is that I didn't get out of such a relationship earlier.
If you do break up, the first few weeks will be hard, maybe you will cry a few times. But It sure will be worth it in a couple of months, you will feel amazing ! And you're still young, you dont need anyone controling you like that. Go out, haved som fun, get back on facebook (Only really weird people dont have facebook nowadays, haha)
Take care,
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