A
female
 ,
*alguni
writes:My best friend slept with my crush. ive had a crush on a guy named pete for 5 years now and i HAD the bestest friend ever.She helped me get with my crush and she said we were perfect together and i was pleased that she did all of this for me.Pete and her became friends and he invited her over to watch a few movies and told her to bring a few friends guys or girls if she wanted to but she only brought me along with her.And after a while she went up and pete told me that he's had a crush on me for a year now and i didnt know what to say, but he went up to the bathroom and she told me she supposedly "seduced him into having sex with her, but pete didnt like it" so i thought she must've planned this before she even got there.But i just dont realise why she did it as we've been friends for 7 years and we tell each other everything. And i dont know if i should forgive her and listen to petes side of the story because we were really getting close that night and ive never had that before.But now im thinking my friend has gone and ruined it for me and someone i like who actually likes me back.Please help! x
View related questions:
best friend, crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): Fuck that dont forgive your friend for that if she knew how you felt about him!That has happened to me thats all she is goin to go behind your back and do it again thinkin it was ok because you forgave her so you shouldn't cause you never know what she can turn on u behind ur back and do cause she thinks u would forgive her everytime.
A
female
reader, Choongalicious +, writes (11 December 2006):
 To be honest with you, I think your 'friend' may have been jealous of the lil bond that you and Pete had. She may have felt left out and wanted to feel loved. Who knows, but what I do know is that she is not a good friend. If she was she wouldn't of even considered doing that with Pete. Forget her and concentrate on him, try to find out his version of the story and than you can make your decision. That girl may not have ruined everything that you and Pete could of had/might have.
...............................
A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (9 October 2006):
 I went through the same thing as you. My friend introduced me to a guy that I fell for. She then, behind my back, seduced him to sleep with her. Needless to say, she was no longer a friend....and she already had a guy!!!! At the time, I didn't have a guy and I really liked him alot; and the same for him. Then later on i caught them in bed together!!!! She knew that I liked him alot, but did it anyway (he was drunk) i forgave him, because he was out of it. But not her...she knew what she was doing! REAL friends don't do that...they have RESPECT for you. I give all my friends respect...I wouldn't do anything against my friends...especially when it comes to their boyfriends/husbands. Your "so-called" friend was a FIEND in disguise!!! (that's the "f" taken out of friend)
...............................
A
female
reader, Nay920 +, writes (29 August 2006):
Well this is a tough one than again no its not if they both really cared about you it would not have went down thats not right dont be friends with that girl dont even talk to that guy until you hear the truth.Thats just so nasty of her she must be jealous of you and want what you got so she did that its not right how these girls are acting over some penis dont fall for that im sorry crap tell her how you feel about every thing.GOOD LUCK
...............................
A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (28 August 2006):
 There is one strict rule that I beleive in, and that is friends do not get off with friends boyfriends, ex's or crushes. She knew how much you liked him and yet she still did it making you beleive that she was getting close to him for your benefit. I say do not forgive her, she is not a true friend and she most definately doesn't deserve your forgiveness, not straight away anyway. Make sure you remain firm and do not give into her crocodile tears. Wait a little while and if she really is truly sorry she wont give up tying to apologise. If you feel that she really is sorry then forgive her. But only if you feel she is genuinely srry. Goodluck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): Well it's obvious to say that she didn't care about how you feel about this guy and still went for it so she is not what i would call a mate,however people do make mistakes in a moment of madness and has they say friends come before blokes and if you and her have been best friends for a long time maybe you could sort things out but you must make it clear to her how much she has upset you.x
...............................
A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Another man named Pete!!! Well on a serious note I think your friend is not a true friend to do that to you, but you have liked Pete for over 5 years, why did you not say something sooner? I know you confided in your friend but if Pete says he likes you back and your friend seduced him, then at least hear his side of the story. I personallly would never trust my friend again, or I would have a hard time trusting her for a long time. Hear what he has to say first. xXx
...............................
A
female
reader, xAngeliquex +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Well, make sure you have heard and understood both sides of the story before making any assumptions.Let me get this straight - She confessed? Wow. Well, Pete has said that he has feelings for you but then went off with your best friend, so that is something else you want to look into. If you and Pete decided to date, then no doubt you will feel insecure that, because he "isnt't the time to say no" (hence what happened between him and your friend), that he could be unfaithful.Your friend definitely needs to get her act together, doing this to someone so close to her. Maybe she liked him aswell and was jealous?You need to have deep, open and honest conversations with the two of them separately regarding this situation and decide based on what they tell you. If you realise Pete isn't worth losing a friend over, then don't let that happen. But if you realise your friend isn't much of a friend...well you don't have the basis of a true friendship - which is trust.I don't really know what you can do here, except use your better judgement - whether you should you remain friends with both, one instead of the other, or none.
...............................
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (28 August 2006):
 it sounds like your friend was jealous of you - that someone finally liked you over her. and the guy knew that you liked him because you both just told each other, but he still slept with your friend (which in my mind reads "loser"). I think they both have self esteem issues that they need to work on.What I would do if I were you is I would forgive her, but I would not trust her as much with certain things (obviously with things like who you are attracted to). Maybe after you two talk, you can gradually build your relationship back up. It probably won't be the same as it once was, though. but remember, all people do stupid things and make mistakes. this might be her one giant stupid thing she has done and might make her realize it's not worth it in the future.As for the guy, he wasn't committed to either of you, so honestly he was free to do what he wanted. Even though it really wasn't "wrong" for him to sleep with your friend, it was really crappy of him to do it, especially when you were sitting right downstairs. That sort of thing wouldn't make me think he would be boyfriend material. I would want a guy that had more respect for me than that.All in all, I recommend trying to patch things up with your friend by having a long talk and getting everything out in the open between the two of you, and forget the guy. There are plenty of them out there, and ones who won't sleep with your friend, even if she tries to seduce them.
...............................
A
female
reader, x_snoops_x +, writes (28 August 2006):
You have to ask her, in hope that she will give you an honest anwer, if she only got you two together to try and get with him. Make her realise how much she has upset you by doing what she has, friends should last alot longer than guys, so get rid of your boyfriend straight away, it might be hard but its best in the long run,
...............................
A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Honestly honey, this is no friend. A real friend wouldn't do this to you. You should listen to both sides of the story though and see exactly which one is believable. I just don't understand why she would do this to you. I, personally wouldn't be able to be friends with her anymore because I would be scared she'd sleep with all the men that I would like and I wouldn't be able to trust her ever again.
As for him, she may have seduced him, you never know. You can always find someone else though if you think you'd never be able to trust him as well.
This is just something people shouldn't do to eachother, but they do because all of people have no consideration for anyone else.
I wish you all the best!
...............................
|
