A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive done a really stupid thing and now its gotten out of hand, and i dont know what to do,im 26 and have a boyfriend.About 2 months ago a male work colleague and I started talking,then hanging out,then swopped phone numbers, and started chatting online.I never mentioned him to my bf.This colleague is also just recently married in december.Things quickly moved fast and we started talking 'dirty' online,even while i was chatting to my bf online aswell.We then started texting each other,mailing each other at work, and eventually started phoning each other.I had no intentions of ever doing anything physical with him or cheating on my bf,i guess i just liked the thrill of someone else being interested in me.I never realised it until my bf pointed it out to me that our relationship has changed,i was chatting,texting,talking to this guy,more than my bf.This went on for 2 months,until last week,my bf came to my house and out of blue he just confronted me.He asked who this guy was,why have i never mentioned him,asked me if chat to him online,do i text him, etc.I was so shocked,i did not know what to say.My bf knew along since it started,he knows about our online chatting,our texts,our phone calls,he has proof of all this,he has showed me.How he did this,i dont know,because he wont tell me.My bf knows everything about this guy,where he stays,his wife's name,where his wife works,what car he drives.I dont even know these things,how does my bf know?That really freaked me out. When my bf left 4 days ago,all he said was is going to get even,he said this guy has ruined our relationship,so now he will ruin this guy's marriage. He then told me what he thought of me,what he said really hurt me and made me feel bad,but it was true. This colleague has also just suddenly started avoiding me for the last 2 days,i did not tell him about what happend with my bf and that we have broken up.We have now broken up for 3 days,i havent heard from him,even though ive tried contacting him. I want my bf back,i dont know what to do.I love him.Please help.
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male
reader, Taps  +, writes (2 May 2011):
You sure deserve this...Cheated on your BF and wrecking a newlywed man. This goes to him to...just got married and already screwing around. Hope his wife finds out soon. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. If you want to be with someone else...End your relationship before engaging with the new person. Karma
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): your reap what you sew.... make yourself a single person if you need to engage with others. It doesn't make it right just because it was not physical, it would have ended up that way eventually. Seriously, what did you expect...you are focusing more on how he found out, than what you have done. I think you got what you deserved, and he deserves to have someone who can remain faithful and love only him when in a committed relationship. By the way....what goes around, comes around.....Karma is a bitch....
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 April 2011):
A while back, a survey was done - and it was found that 70% of women that had cheated had gotten away with it. A few years later, there was a huge drop in that figure. The reason? Men suddenly got wise.
You'll have done something like leave an email open, or leave the history open on your computer, or send a text to the wrong person. It will have been something that simple, and your boyfriend picked up on it. Then, being clever, he abided his time and watched how far you'd go. And he found that you were willing to go very far. Then, with all that proof, he dumped you.
I'm sorry, but you won't be getting your boyfriend back. He really went into detail on finding you out, and that means he was never going to forgive you once he had. So, move on from him and end that chats with that married man too, because it may be that your boyfriend contacted him, hence why he's avoiding you.
Save what's left of your reputation and back away from both men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): What would u have done if it was your bf emotionally entangled with another woman?
I say , well done to your bf. He had all the evidence and then he confronted you. Now u have no bf and certainly no married man as well. Isn't it funny how life works out?
You threw away your relationship with your bf for nothing.
So let your bf be. He will not forgive you and well he destroy your married 'friends marriage as well. But don't worry the married guy will still be married but u will be sans bf.
A horrible lesson you learnt. All those things your bf told you, you know it is true. It was only a matter of time before you cheated sexually anyways.
Move on and next time, don't play with fire: you WILL get burnt.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Talk about a mess. I know this is the last thing to want to listen to right now, but WHAT on earth were you thinking???!
Your BF's anger is understandable. Getting hold of call logs is easy and if he knows your password, he can easily dig into your chat logs, etc. But thats not even the point here. Stop the affair AT ONCE. Not only are you jeopardizing your own relationship, you're putting someone's marriage at risk.
Apologize to your BF when he's calmed down a little, assure him that his was a huge mistake and this is never going to happen again. Its going to be an uphill task, repairing this damage, but if you can do it, you will come out much stronger. Now is the time to show him what you really are. Show him that you are the same girl whom he fell in love with, be the best-est girlfriend possible. And most importantly, learn from this blunder and never, ever play with fire again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): You did a dumb thing, didn't you? Even if you didn't have sex with your new male friend, you were still cheating emotionally. It was just a matter of time before things ended up in the bedroom. Don't deny it. If you live in a small community, it's not hard to find out about things your mate is doing behind your back. Your sins usually find you. Yours did. I suspect your b/f called the guy's wife and told her what the two of you had been doing behind both their backs. You should leave your b/f alone and learn from this mistake. If you love someone and are in a committed relationship with someone; act like it. You sure wouldn't wan him texting some chick behind your back, now would you? I think you got what you deserved.
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