A
female
age
26-29,
*ulianneMarie
writes:I started dating this guy about a year ago. At first, I didn't think it was anything. I had not really had a real boyfriend before that, and I wasn't expecting it to last very long. I'll call him mr. AWell, after two amazing dates, I was really falling for him. He is 2 years older than me, though. I'm a freshman in highschool, he is a sophmore. But, Christmas time came around, and we couldn't see other for an entire month, which felt like torture. So, I broke up with him because I wasn't used to the distance. Then, I saw him again in January, and we both immediatly called eachother after the encounter. We started dating again.At this point, we were not that intimate. But we are young, and needless to say, he has a sex drive. So he would say some racy stuff, like after saying "I love you" to one another (which we had only told each other that once before, I take it seriously), he'd say "And I really can't wait to 'love' you;)". My parents saw that text and were furious, as they should have been. They took away my phone for 2 weeks, and after that, he broke up with me because of the distance. We had, before that, gotten to the point where we were on the phone or texting 24/7.But, after a while, we both knew we still loved eachother. At Mardi Gras, I saw him again. It was the cheesiest thing ever, but we literally ran to eachother at first glance and I jumped into his arms. Everyone was staring at us. I was with my friend, and my parents weren't around. They still don't know. But I still have the necklaces he caught me.Around spring break, we were talking more and more, and we had started talking about how we were both virgins, and we both wanted to lose our virginity to eachother. We did go to the movies, but we ended up not doing it there. For some reason, he felt distant to me. It really hurt, I don't even know exactly why I felt that way.And after this, I just felt heartbroken. We met up at a waterpark over the summer, and it was amazing to see him again. We felt closer than ever on so many different levels after this. I finally convinced my parents to let him come to my party later that same month, and I just expected us to stay friends. I was really trying my hardest to get over him for my parents. There was another guy there that I knew really liked me, and I guess you could say we were "talking". But as soon as Mr.A saw him I could see him just- his jaw hardend, and he looked empty. I never felt so terrible in my life then when I saw him like that.Later that night, he just looked me in the eyes, and told me he didn't want anyone but me, and that we could see eachother more often if we just tried harder. And after everyone had gone home, he called, and said he loved me. First time in a long time, and I had been just waiting to hear it.My parents, not knowing we were dating, let him come over the next weekend. And we also went to the bowling alley the weekend after that. And, the weekend after THAT, we went to the movies. Where we almost had sex. In the bathroom. I know, it sounds terrible. I can't go a second without regretting it now because,My parents found out. I am forbidden to speak to him. I didn't have my phone for weeks, and I tried not talking to him. I thought it would make my parents happy. Things got back to normal, and I did start dating that guy I mentioned earlier. But Mr. A sent me a text about a month after the incident saying, in short, "After everything we had been through together, and you don't even talk to me now. How can you share something that special and be that intimate with someone, and just forget them? And now you're dating ---- ---? You have been stuck in my head the whole time. I thought you were the one person that would be with me through the thick and thin, but I guess I was wrong". That's the gist of it, and it made me cry. I broke up with my new boyfriend, saved Mr. A in my phone a someone else, and we started talking again. As friends.Last night, my parents found out it was him. Just like when they found out about the movies, they hit me and called me a stupid bitch. And they took my phone and told Mr. A never to speak to me again or they will call the authorites. They did that the last time, and I hope just like last time, he knows, like me, that this isn't that last of us. It can't be.I'm bruised, hurt, and lonely. I want to run away to him. But, he lives in town. I live 15 minutes away from there. I called my best friend on the house phone behind my parents' back, and she didn't know what to do. I can't live like this anymore. Mr. A is the one thing in my life that as long as I have him, I have all I need. If I don't have him, though, I don't have anything.
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best friend, both virgins, broke up, christmas, heartbroken, sex drive, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PinkyFloya +, writes (23 October 2009):
It's called "Infatuation".It prevents you from thinking.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Ok. Thanks for that. So your parents threat to call the police was just an empty threat. Good. And i think you have made the right decision.
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A
female
reader, JulianneMarie +, writes (21 October 2009):
JulianneMarie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is 15, I will 14 in January. I was moved up a year in school. We have not actually had sex yet, because we decided that it would be better to wait for things to be more stable between us. But, where I live, it's only illegal if he is 16 or older. He won't be 16 until May. So, as far as I know, they couldn't arrest him. But if they did, I'm sure he would end up in jail some way or another.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): How old are you ? How old is he. And whats the age of consent where you are. Am i right in thinking they are calling the authoritys because they have grounds to arrest him.
Do you want him to be somebody elses bitch in prison while your having his baby or an abortion. He will lose his virginity both ends in there.
Thats what your parents want to stop ok.
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A
female
reader, JulianneMarie +, writes (21 October 2009):
JulianneMarie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe counselor thing sounds like it would really work- if I went to a normal school. My parents put me in online school this year, because they don't want me to go to a public high school and they can't afford private school anymore. So, I don't have a school counselor. I've mentioned counseling before, just temporarily to figure out my feelings, but my parents took it offensivley. We couldn't afford it, anyways.
At this point in time, I don't think they will let me do anything with friends for a while, and they said that I will not get my phone back again. I take ballet classes, and my best friend takes them with me. I plan on talking to her and her grandmother(who is like a mom to me) next time we are at class. The only thing I am afraid of is her grandmother questioning my mom about it, and that would only make matters worse.
When my mom hits me and yells at me, it's because I embarass her. It isn't about how it effects me, it's about how it effects her. She tells me this herself. Frequently. She is never worried about me killing myself or being depressed, and when I try to talk to her about these feelings, she thinks I am just trying to make her feel guilty and she gets angry.
If I were to tell people she was hitting me, that would embarass her even more. She has mentioned killing herself before because I embarass her so much. I don't want that to happen.
I just need to know: should I tell my friend? or should I leave them out of the situation, because I feel bad bringing them into the mess.
I would consider talking to a family member, but everyone is having a lot of issues with my cousin. I'm not just that close with any of my relatives.
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