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My 50 year old male friend is Facebook friends with girls as young as 17. Is this a Red Flag?

Tagged as: Family, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 January 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 12 January 2013)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have a friend who friends a lot of young girls all around the world from 17 to 28, on his Facebook. He is almost 50. I don't think this is appropriate. He does have some older women but they are family members and co workers.

Do you think he is a perv, or someone even worse than that? I have girls around this age, and we are real close to this guy. But I see a red flag. Should i worry?

View related questions: co-worker, facebook

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2013):

He can be a nice guy and also a perv. I had a boss like that once. Real nice guy in his 50s and respected in his industry. But everyone knew that in his free time he liked to date or chat up women under 21. But he would still help a friend or coworker out who needed help. Creepiness is separate from other character attributes. Unless your relationship to him has to do with things of a sexual nature then the creepiness is a deal breaker.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013):

I say trust in your gut instinct.

From the home I am raised, there is no viable reason that a 50 yr old Man should have underaged girls as 'friends'.

If they are not trusted family members - be suspect.

The men of my age group and my community that I interact with would deem such a man as abnormal. They do not find any means to relate to underage girls and have high standards that keep their integrity and character pristine.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013):

well we have been kinda dating for about 3 months.

i know he left his wife for someone younger than him a few years back. i just recently facebooked him, and went through his friends lists. these girls are not friends of friends or family member daughters. these girls are like from the philipines, china, japan.

I dont think i want to persue this with him, something just isnt kosher here. i didnt want to be alarmed by it because i know that facebook is a social network, and i know you have to have people to play games with but he only plays the sims social on there.

I just didnt want to jump to conclusions about him. but my woman radar is beeping, if you know what i mean.

He seems like a real nice guy but that does not mean anything. a wolf in sheeps clothing.

It's sad because i really like him too. and also facebook has private messagenr so i dont know what he has said to these girls if anything. but that does not matter its that he has friended them as young as they are to begin with. thanks for the advice

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (11 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI have friends on facebook that I dont' even know their ages or where they live or if they are married... they are friends of friends who play the same games I play and I needed "neighbors" so I asked them to be gaming friends...

Just because I'm facebook friends with them does not mean I am IRL friends with them....

Have you ASKED HIM about his FB friends? IF YOU can't ASK him then you don't have a solid relationship and should not worry about having him near your kids as he's not even in that category.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2013):

Hi you dont mention where you met him or how long you have known him.

If he is someone known to your family for many years without incident, then he might be fine. But if he is someone you have recently met, say online and none of you really know him, then caution might be advisable.

If he only targets girls from 17 to 28 to befriend, then he must have a special interest in that age group. Have you asked him what his interest in them is?

It might be wise to ask your daughters if he says inappropriate things to them or behaves in any way that might suggest he is a worry. They can give you their `take` on him, which will be helpful.

At the end of the day, you are the girls mother, so if you feel there is something to worry about, take appropriate action to ensure their safety and your peace of mind.

Personally I cant really understand what a 50 year old man or woman for that matter, would need to befriend teenagers for.

But his interest in that age group of girls might be innocent, you be the judge because you are the one exposing your children to him, so if you arent happy and see a red flag dont feel badly for worrying. Do a little research so you can either put your concerns to rest or back off from him if need be.

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A female reader, Molly9945 United States +, writes (11 January 2013):

I personally don;t see a problem unless he is pursuing them. I was raised by a lot of males in my life, no females really, so I have a lot of male friends on facebook between 30-55. It's because they are family or family friends. So maybe it's one of his best friends daughters? I'm not saying don;t be aware, just understand it's not always the worst case scenario.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 January 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI guess I feel very differently about this.

I didn't know that people take FACEBOOK this serious that they feel a need to police WHO, friends or male acquaintance talk to on FACEBOOK.

He likes to talk to young women. It makes him feel old and wise (or maybe not so old) I honestly do not see that it is any of your business. Now if you are DATING him and he has "online relationships" with all these girls, I would step far far away.

Does it mean he is a perv? I think that would depend on WHAT he talk to these girls about. Is it about food, travel or sex. If it's ex, well then he is a perv. Food? Not, so much.

Does he hit on your daughters? Is he inappropriate around them? If so, cut him off. Talk to your kids about predators.

But judging that he is a perv from what little you have writing I think is ridiculous.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013):

An adult is 18 years of age. Under 18 is considered a minor and that is a big concern.

You can befriend whoever you want on Facebook. If he is trying to solicit sex from an underage girl then you have another problem.

All of "friends" whether of age or underage bursts of a bright red flag.

A 50 year old man befriending 17 year old girls to 28 year old women comes off as a major perv.

Knowing what you do, I'd steer clear of this one and not have contact with him. You need to protect your girls. Their safety comes first.

Facebook should be able to track his activities if he is trying to solicit sex from underage girls.

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