A
female
age
26-29,
*olly9945
writes:I just want to make sure I'm not over stepping my bounds here, and I need a little help interpreting someones actions, as I'm afraid my interpretations may be a little off.I have been hanging out with one of my friends a lot more now. He's funny, nice, quirky, and just in general someone that I really get along with. I do love him as a friend and I wanted it to be something more. I asked one day if he wanted to go to a casual dinner cause he owes me, and he said he would rather hang out around noon cause his GF was coming over that evening. Now I was shocked and a little disappointed but I didn't let that get me down.Anyway things changed that day we ended up going to coffee and then playing video games at his house for several hours (We were together a total of 11 hour that day just hanging out) And before I left he gave me a hug, said drive careful, to text him when I got home to make sure I made it safe. It made me feel like maybe he likes me, but I dismissed it cause he's just nice.We planned another video game date and when I got there one of his other friends was just leaving and he introduced us, me as his best friend and talking about how cool I was. We played video games, talked, and before I left he was saying how he wished his gf would play video games with him etc. and I just told him "Well just text me and I'll be your video game friend whenever you have time off work." He then mentioned how he was happy cause we have the same days off.Now I don't know if I'm over stepping my bounds by doing any of this. I've never even met his GF but I know they were together a long time ago, broke up cause she was cheating, and are back together now. That's why I'm curious if maybe he is starting to like me but I don't want to bring myself up for a let down. Is his behavior normal? None of my other male friends do this. And am I over stepping my bounds by hanging out with him for so long?Thanks for any input.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 January 2013):
 does the gf know you are his "best friend" does she even know about you?
IF NOT, then yes you are over stepping.
If the GF is ok with the friendship and you are clear you are just friends... then it's ok in my book
the problem is you like him more than just friends... so to protect yourself back off.
A
female
reader, Molly9945 +, writes (11 January 2013):
Molly9945 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI respect that he has a GF, and though I don't understand why he is back with her as it is out of his character, I know it is not my place to talk. I never mention her to him. I don't flirt(Unless playing video games constitutes as flirting). We have been friends for a long long time so I don't want to cut off all connections. I don't want to date him anymore. I'm not seeking to end his relationship or anything like that. That's just not who I am. I was just confused by his behavior, not mine. What is his body language saying? Sorry if my original message was confusing, but I never said I viewed any of our time together as dates and do not know where that misconception arrived. Please understand I do not see them as that, just hang outs or video game dates.If this is overstepping my bounds I'll take it back a notch, but I don't know how to do that exactly. I'm trying to not ruin his relationship, not go after him, and I was asking for help on how to do that. I don't want to be blunt or rude but they way I was answered was kinda hurtful. I wanted help, not to be treated like a naive teenage girl out to ruin every mans relationship. I just hope I cleared everything up so I can get a more appropriate answer and if anyone needs any more clarifying please let me know.Thank you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 January 2013):
 Yes, you are overstepping your bounds. You treat the time with him as "dates" and look for "scraps" of affection. That is not friendship - that is you pining for him ans hoping that if you spend enough time with him he will realize what a great girl you are and maybe want to date you.
I'm sorry to say that it DOESN'T matter how long he has been dating his GF or what she has done in THEIR relationship - it doesn't CHANGE ANYTHING.
Hanging out with a friend is great, but once you start to develop feelings or a crush you really need to pay attention to what's going on. Or you will end up doing something you BOTH will regret and not even realize that you are partly to blame.
Does it mean you can't hang out? No, but you need to stop with the daydreams of him riding off with you into the sunset. He HAS A GF. IF he wasn't serious about HER, he wouldn't have taken he back. IF he was interested in you he would have pursued YOU, not her.
Don't be "that" girl. You know the one that is like a huge elephant in someone else's relationship.
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